Rule Four || Dream

⏮Red String: 2 ⏮

{Shizuka}

I love her. I love her so much. I love Erie with every fiber of my being. But, I can't. I'm supposed to hate her. After all she's put me through, I can't still love her. I've had anxiety, I snuck around and lied to my best friend, then I broke up with Erie, and I had my heart hurting, and I was suspended from my job, then I got beaten up by Erie's girlfriend, who I thought was my friend. Ever since I've been with that girl, my world has turned into a giant roller coaster, going up and down, good and bad. It was ridiculous!

When we broke up for good, I was half-way relieved. Aya left me alone, and I kept my job. By then, I had planned to pass the AS Girls to another manager. But, Ami convinced me to keep them, since they're one of the most popular girl groups. Who am I to say 'no' to my best friend, and CEO of the entertainment company?

"Shizuka, I was thinking we could go see a movie," my boyfriend of three months, Hiroshi, suggested one night.

I met Hiroshi one night when I stay late at Nakashima's. He had came in to talk to Ami, who had left early due to a cold. Since I was the next best, I took her place and he explained how his father, who was Korean, owned an entertainment as well, in Seoul, South Korea, and how he was next in line for the company. He has a Japanese mother, which is how he's staying here, and he was just curious to see if he wanted to open up a Japanese version of the company here. We just instantly clicked, and began talking more about ourselves than the music business.

Hiroshi's such a nice guy, and he's admitted to crushing on me for a while after we began hanging out as friends. And, attempting to forget about all my feelings of Erie, I started dating him.

"What kind?" I asked him. He liked horror movies, but I didn't want to see one, due to my previous partner.

"Since I know you're not too fond of horror, how about a comedy? Or a drama?" He asked.

The last time we saw a horror movie with Hiroshi, I bawled my eyes out, thinking about Erie. How she loved horror films, especially since I would jump into her arms during the scary parts, and hide my face into her neck. She smelled so nice...

"Uh, comedy would sound nice," I replied, smiling.

Maybe I can laugh the stress away. That's what I've been doing nowadays. With Hiroshi, he was able to make me laugh any time. Even when I'm not in the greatest mood. And it's great whenever I have hard days with Erie.

My stomach flipped at the thought of Erie. Ever since then, I've been strict and harsh on her. Sometimes, for no reason at all. And I thought she would've discussed the issue with Ami, but I haven't got called to her office for that reason.

The reason I'm like that towards Erie is because I can't get close to her. My guard is up permanently for her, and I am determined to not let it down until I am 100% positive our feelings for each other are gone. Although I'm sure my feelings for her are washed away, seeing her look sad or hurt makes my heart hurt. And deep down, I feel like running over to her and apologizing while hugging her and stroking her hair.

Hiroshi smiled at me as I got up from the comfy couch in my house, to go and get ready to go. While digging in my closet, I saw a shirt that I normally wear around the house. It was Erie's favorite shirt to wear. Many mornings, she would take it home, wash it, and bring it back the next day. Ever since we ended things, I never wore the shirt. 

I wonder if it smells like her... 

I lifted the bottom of the shirt up to my nose, and lightly inhaled the scent. Smells just like Erie...

Before I knew it, tears were running down my face. Images of her hurt face popped up in my brain, and I quickly shook my head to forget them. Why? Why did I do that? Now I'll be in a sulky mood on our date!