Rule Four || Dream

⏮Red String: 3⏮

{Shizuka}

"I don't think you're trying hard enough," I snapped at Erie as we went through a rehearsal for a song, for tonight's concert.

"I am, Shizuka-san!" Erie defended.

She was. I knew she was. I don't even know why I'm calling her out. Sure, it's to protect my heart, but was doing extra really necessary? Seeing her tired, upset face makes me want to dig a hole and bury myself in it. I'm causing her this frustration, but I just can't seem to stop.

"Do it again," I waved my hand.

Erie frowned, before lifting her microphone up to her mouth just as the opening chords came through the speakers. She began singing, and I tried so hard not to smile. Her singing was beautiful, and she was doing everything right. No wrong notes, or words, or anything really. 

The eyes of the rest of the AS Girls were on me, and I knew they were confused. They witnessed Erie doing everything right. Gosh, I really hate myself.

"Okay, okay! That's enough!" I called, waving my arms around.

Erie stopped singing, her eyes still trained on the ground in front of her. I felt the tugging in my heart as she was approached by Yurino. I'm ashamed of myself. Why must I make her feel even worse than now? I wonder if she still cares about me. Probably not, since I'm treating her terribly.

"That's all for rehearsal, ladies. Good job. And make sure you be back by five for hair and make-up!" I announced as the girls began walking away.

Erie glanced over at me, and I met her gaze before looking away again. Why was my heart beating fast again? Why did I have the need to reach out and hug her close to me? Why did I want to catch up to her, apologize for everything, and ask her to take me back?

A sigh escaped my lips, and I walked to my car to get some rest. Last night, Hiroshi had taken me to an amusement park, where he had rode all the rides to our heart's content. It was thrilling to hear the wind in our ears as we shot forward in roller coasters. Playing the games and winning prizes were my favorite part. Hiroshi won me a cute stuffed mouse, and I won him a stuffed lion.

Then I remembered Erie. Her sad face. How I've treated her bad while I'm having fun. And for the first time in months, I cried myself to sleep.

My head rolled to my shoulder as I tried to sleep in the passenger seat. Frowning, I moved around but still couldn't get comfortable. So, I went to the back seats and threw my blanket that I had brought over me. I finally found a somewhat comfortable position, and slowly drifted off to sleep...

But sleep wasn't peaceful at all. Erie haunted my dreams. Erie getting ran over with a car. Erie committing suicide. Erie disappearing off the face of the earth. All. Because. Of me.

My skin was covered in a cold sweat when I woke up. And when I checked my phone, I realized I had only been asleep for twenty minutes. Three more hours until the girls are supposed to be back.

I yawned,  not having a good nap, but I didn't want to go back to sleep. I don't want to see the violent dreams I have of Erie. Too bad I have them almost every night. Like last night, I had a dream of Erie jumping off a cliff, and Hiroshi ran into my room to comfort me, because I woke up crying. And we accidentally fell asleep that way. Although he comforted me, he didn't keep the nightmares away. And even though I hated the idea, I knew there was only one person who could keep them away.

There was a knock on my window, and I looked up to see Ami smiling at me. I sat up, opened the door, and scooted away so she could sit down.

My tall friend got in the car and shut the door, then she faced me. Her eyes took in my state, and I knew I must look bad.

"What happened?" She asked. She knew about my dreams of Erie. She knew I had a nightmare right then.

"It's nothing to worry about," I waved off.

"You had a nightmare, Shizuka. I know you. Too much, maybe. But I know you. Talk."

I looked down, so she wouldn't see my tears. "I feel so bad...I'm such a horrible person, Ami..."

"Why?"

"For the way I've been treating her! I don't know how she just takes it all, and how she hasn't told you yet!"

The tears made it hard for me to see and talk. I wiped them away, hoping I wouldn't begin to sob. Never would I have been to evil towards an individual who didn't really deserve it, willingly.  Maybe I did it to get back at Erie for causing me so much pain and trouble, but I don't feel any better. In fact, I feel worse about it.

Ami's arms pulled me into a hug, and I rested my head against her chest. It's a mystery how she's still my friend, after I broke her rules, then stopped talking to her as often as usual. I deserve to be friendless. I'm so cold-hearted.

"Then why don't you take her back?" Ami asked.

"Rule Four--"

"Who cares about that dumb rule? You should love who you love, even if you're managing them. I only have it up so the public wouldn't think there isn't any favoritism in the company. Shi-chan, you're my best friend. I know you want her back--"

"After everything she's caused me? No! I just can't take her back."

"You love her," Ami claimed.

"I don't! I have Hiroshi-chan, and I love him very much!"

"Shizuka, he looks exactly like Erie," said Ami, flatly. "The black hair, the blue eyes, him liking horror movies, him being younger than you! Those are all sure-tell signs that you are not over her!"

I pushed myself off of her, no longer sad. Mainly frustrated. How could she not get that I don't want Erie anymore? She's hurt me so much, and I can't risk us being found out. Besides, I have Hiroshi, who isn't part of the company, who care for me so much, more than any other guy has.

"I'm over her, Ami. Now drop it."

Ami looked at me sadly, before getting out the car. I wiped my face on my blanket, seeing the smears from my make-up. Great. Not only am I being so evil towards Erie, but I chased Ami away with my dumb attitude. What's next? Hiroshi stops talking to me because I lash out on him?

Due to me not wanting to wake up from another nightmare, I began redoing my make-up so I could buy me a coffee or something. And when I did buy it, I couldn't help but think it didn't taste like the coffee Erie makes me in the morning.

I sat in the coffee shop that was closest to the venue for tonight's performance. Maybe being around people would help me stay up. My eyes began to feel heavy, and I was about to fall asleep on the table, when I heard a familiar voice.

"Shizuka!" Hiroshi smiled.

A grin spread across my face as he sat down in front of me. "Hiroshi-chan, what are you doing here?" I asked, suddenly wide-awake.

"Well, I always come here on my lunch breaks."

"Don't you make your own lunches?"

"Yeah, but not today. I'm glad I didn't, because I can have lunch with the most beautiful woman in the world."

A blush brushed my cheeks, and I looked down so he couldn't see it. He's such a charmer.

"Want me to buy you anything?" He offered.

"Oh, no. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I know you. And you barely eat at lunch. I'm buying you something."

And before I could protest, he walked away. Now that Ami mentioned it, I can kind of see Erie in him. Not in only his looks, but his personality as well. No wonder I was attracted to him...

"Erie!"

"Hiroshi!"

I looked up to see Erie and Hiroshi sharing a hug. Wait...A HUG?! How did they know each other?! I'm so confused. Especially when Hiroshi led Erie to the table I sat at.

"Shizuka, this is my little sister, Erie..."

Oh. No.