ANG DIARY NG SINGLE

Chapter 8 - Moving Forward

It was a roller coaster ride,
Falling inlove
I don't know if it is the wrong time or the wrong person.
Whatever it may be,
one thing is certain,
I still want my freedom.
Nafefeel niyo din ba yan mga besh?
Honestly hindi mo maiiwasan yan, hanggat marami ka pang pangarap sa buhay na hindi mo nagawa. Kaya kailangan ang forever mo siya talaga ang great love mo. Kasi kapag siya na talaga, hindi mo na maiisip ang ibang pang mga bagay.
Kaya kapit lang mga besh. Ika nga all is fair in love and war. Kaya wait wait din pag may time. The more you rush things the greater the tendency to get hurt.
🎵Kaya, chill ka lang. 🎵
Kailangan maging matiyaga sa paghihintay lalo na sobrang traffic ngayon baka na stuck lang. 😁
Thinking about Matt.
It seems like yesterday, I was so inlove. It was blissful. I was content. I was happy. But, all of a sudden I was all broken into pieces. The pain. The pain that I am feeling is killing me that no matter how I convinced myself to keep going, I just can't stop thinking about it.
Am I going insane?
Sometimes, I just found myself in deep thoughts that even my friends were bothered.

Moving on? Moving forward? Letting go?
It is easier said than done, especially if you are the one going through it.

Ang pagmomove on ay parang paglipad.
Paano ka makakalipad kung wala kang pakpak?
Para ding pagpunta sa buwan.
Paano ka makakapunta doon kung hindi ka astronaut?
Haaay...paano ba magmoveon ng mabilis?
Yung tipong mawawala agad?
Ang galing galing ko magpayo dati eh..noong hindi ko pa naranasan ang masaktan....andaling magsabi na kalimutan mo na siya..mas maraming dapat isipin.. But in reality..you can never apply it to yourself. How can you? When everywhere you look, in anytime and place there is something that reminds you of him. Especially that you have so much happy  memories together. Memories that are worth looking back but will hurt you the more.
Sana ang pagmomove on ay parang LBM lang..na habang nailalabas mo ...gumuginhawa ang pakiramdam mo. Pero hindi eh.
Moving on is a long process. It takes time, cause only time can heal all wounds.
Time. Think about it. When you are looking forward for something beautiful to happen time seem to run so slow. When you are in the verge of happiness time runs so fast. The irony of life. I guess I should just enjoy my life so that time will run fast and I will soon reach the end of my distress.
It is not always easy to let go. Letting go of the person you love may be easy but letting go of the love for that person is the hardest.
I have to feel this pain until it will be no more.
I have to feel it until my heart go numb.
I have to feel it until I have no strength to feel it at all.
I have to feel the pain, until I am not capable of loving?
Yes pain. Pain can contribute to our capacity to love.
When you have felt so much pain, you'll also forget what love is like.
I am already 29 and it's been years since my last heartbreak but it seems like yesterday.
Looking back, I am thankful that I have once experienced true love. It is real. For me it's real. I may be having a hard time right now to fall inlove again but someday I know with the right person I will also fall inlove. I wish it will come soon.

Have you seen the movie "How to be Single"?
Oh my gosh I watched it with my friends and everyone was pointing to me. Everything Jodi says was may lines too. I was so glad with the movie. Atleast I am not alone with what I am going through.
Speaking about life. I am still living alone away from my family. I am so used to living alone that I don't think I am still capable of having my own family or living with others.
Anyway, we'll never know what surprises life might bring.
Alam niyo ba ang nakakainis sa pagiging single?
Marami...
Issue sa iba kung bakit single ka pa rin.
Sila pa ang namomroblema magkaroon ka lang ng lovelife.
Erereto ka kahit kanino nalang.
Worst. Sasabihan ka pang "ebenta mo na yang matres mo ng mapakinabangan"!
Mag asawa kana habang bata ka pa..mahihirapan kana maghanap pag nagkaedad kana.
Me be like : Hello! Life begins at 40.
Well, kidding aside nakakastress dba pag ganyan ang sinasabi sayo ng mga tao sa paligid mo.
Honestly, since I was in highschool I have done my research already about IVF. Artificial insemination. Yes! I am that weird. Bata palang ako..ayoko na magkaanak o magka asawa pero nag iba nga yun..pero naisip ko..siguro ngayon na ang panahon..alam niyo kung sino ang gusto kong sperm donor? Hahaha
Si BRAD PITT! Lang naman!
Ganyan ako kabaliw noon!
Pero ngayon, hindi ko na iniisip yan. Ang gusto ko ngayon..matutunan kung paano magmahal muli.
Paano nga ba?
Hindi ko na kasi makapa sa puso ko kung paano mainlove. Maging sweet. Hindi ko na maalala at higit sa lahat hindi ko na alam kung paano ba ang mahalin.
Paano nga ba?
Ang hirap diba..lalo na kung sa loob ng ilang taon ay ininda mo ang sakit sa pagka sawi sa pag-ibig.