The Arabella Conundrum

Part Nineteen- The Bee Story Fabrication

Charlie didn't catch up with me immediately since I zigzagged through the woods until I got to one of my many hidden hiding places. As soon as I stopped I threw my entire breakfast up and emptied out my stomach.

The images, the rising feeling of helplessness rose through my body. I couldn't contain it anymore and I slid to the floor and silently began to cry. I could feel the panic beginning to rise and I could start to feel myself struggle for breath.

Don't, I repeat don't have a panic attack Arabella.

"Bella?" an out of breath Charlie called out. "Come on Bells, you killed me here," he wheezed out.

"You know, for a rugby player you can't sprint that well." I commented from behind him. He spun around and sighed in relief when he saw me.

"I've got stamina don't you worry," he winked at me.

He slid down to the ground and sat beside me.

"You alright?"

"Yup."

"You don't have to pretend with me, deep breaths in and out," he whispered and wiped away the tears.

"I know." I sighed. "I'm trying really hard not to have a panic attack here. I guess those flowers just brought it back home. It's such a big reminder and he called them shitty. Tulips aren't shitty." I said angrily.

"I know. Tulips are the most precious of flowers."

I nodded and then remembered the scene again.

"You saw he had tulips didn't you?"

He didn't reply, just looked ahead with his jaw clenched.

"You saw he had them and knew I would get upset." I wrapped my arms around his torso. "Thank you Charlie." I whispered as I hugged him.

It was moments like this that I knew how lucky I was to have Charlie as my friend. I felt extremely grateful and couldn't express my gratitude to him.

"You're not my slave Bella. I'm yours," he joked, referring to my comment earlier. "I'll always be here to look out for you, especially from that false yank." He lent over to kiss the top of my head.

"He didn't know though," I defended Theo. He actually didn't know the symbolic nature of the flower and that was my own doing. Despite that I still felt some anger towards Theo, not directly at him, but the consequences of his actions. I was now stuck on that topic. The horrible, horrible topic that wouldn't ever truly evade my mind but was slowly getting more prominent over the last few weeks.

"Yeah but he's made my Bella cry and throw up. I'm not okay with that." The protective tone detectable in his voice.

We were silent for a few moments before I broke the silence.

"I just wish things were different you know?" I said to Charlie.

"I know you do and I wish I could do something to change them."

I moved to sit onto his lap and rested my head on his shoulder.

"It should get better with time so why does it still feel like my heart if being twisted every time I remember it."

"People say it gets easier but all that happens is you learn to distract yourself better. You want to believe it does get much easier so you can function in the world and I'd say you do a pretty good job Bella."

"Well why do I keep breaking down then? I mean I'm vomiting over someone giving me flowers."

"Well he is a cheesy gut wrenching American. I could be him and not the flowers making you feel sick." He joked. "But in all seriousness, you know these next few weeks are going to be hard. I know you can do it though. Last year you survived and this year you will too. You can't make your life stop though Bella. It needs to carry on. You can't pause your life for something that sadly won't change. She wouldn't want that, she wouldn't want you to stop living and she wouldn't want you to be this sad. I can't watch to see you this unhappy all the time." He sighed and then bent forward to look at me in the eyes.