Lost And Not Found...

When I was me

As the heat from the Chicago sun hit my face I awoke to the ugliness of my world, and prepared for my last day of my junior year at King High School. I slowly  approached the bathroom noticing that my father had already left for work. Relief came across my body and I could actually be me this morning instead of his personal play toy.

"But, baby, don't get it twisted
You was just another nigga on the hit list
Tryna fix your inner issues with a bad bitch
Didn't they tell you that I was a savage?
Fuck your white horse and a carriage
Bet you never could imagine
Never told you, you could have it
You needed me" - Rihanna needed me

This was my shit when I was getting dressed especially when I know I looked good. Fresh white ones, light ripped up Jean shorts  and a white Levi shirt with cute earrings to match. I always wore my locks in a high bun because it was way better than them hanging down my back.

*Ringgggg *Ringgggg
  My Best friend Skylar was calling.

"Do you know what day it is" said Skylar jokingly
 
"Um Wednesday"

"No! It's hump day bitch what we doing after school?! I hope you don't have to run home as usual. "

I always came straight home from school because I didn't want to make my father upset. As if he really needed a reason to be. I wanted something in my life to change and it was time for that something to happen today.
" Hello earth to Ocean!" Said Skylar.
"I.. I ...
" "I what bitch spit it out."

"I'm down for whatever."

"Then it's settled after school we can hang out finally! well then I'll catch you at school bye O".
Skylar and I were one in the same minus the daddy bullshit of course. Her mom was really strict on her as well. Skylar was caramel skinned with a Meagan good short hair cut she was skinner than most but had enough breasts for world to share. She was the first person who actually wanted to be my friend. We have so much in common but somehow i feel that our connection lyes deeper than that.

As I headed out the door for school I couldn't help but feel butterflys in my stomach. Why was I so nervous? Probably because I knew that if I didn't go straight home I wouldnt recognize myself for the next couple of weeks.

Skylar called and told me that she wasn't going to school and since it was the last day it was nothing to miss. I agreed and we met up on 43rd at the creative arts bar to talk about what we were going to get into.

"So what are we doing?" I said with caution. Even though her mom was strict she was definitely a wild child.

"Boys boys boys and more boys"

"Oh no!"

"What do you mean oh no you always act like a fish out of water when you see a boy what the problem?"

Skylar didn't know what all my father did to me at home. I just told her that he was strict and very over protective since I was the only child.

"Just be yourself your smart very pretty thick great personality what's a guy not to like?"
 
Being thick isn't everything moms was a brick house and dad still did her wrong.
I knew everything she said was true but I just felt to dirty to be with anyone. I was afraid to get hurt or to hurt anyone else. Skylar went on and on about why I should talk to guys but I couldn't help but stare out the window at the most beautiful thing in the world and his name was Luke Santana.
"Oh God no please don't let him come in here"
Skylar glanced at the window and after that all she said was
"Baby won't you come my waayyy!"
No stop dont draw any attention to us I thought to myself, but this girl has no chill whatsoever. Luke glanced at me and started to walk over to our table and I swear I had died.

"Hello ladies" he said in a deep tone voice which sent chills down my spine.

"What's up boo" said Skylar sometimes she could be a real thot.

"Shit I'm trying to see what's up with your friend and why she look like she ain't breathing?"

Skylar kicked me under the table and I instantly snapped out of my daze.
"Ummm hi "

"Hey beautiful what's your name?"

That was actually a good question because I had forgotten. If you knew what was standing in front of me you would forget your name too. Luke was 20 years old, 6'6 dark chocolate, hazel eyes, beautiful white teeth, and he had good meat on his bones with a Rick Ross goatee and tattoos to match damn was he sexy. I know he was older me I was only 17 but I didn't mind at all.

"Ocean!!!" Skylar screamed she had everyone looking at us. Well at least she helped me remember my name.

"Ocean" I said nervously

"Damn I'd like to swim in those waters"
I swear i couldn't stop smiling
"Why don't you let me make you smile every day baby girl"
"Sure... I mean if you want to" damn I'm such a square.
Meanwhile Skylar was watching us as if we were the power season finale.

"Well I want to so let me get your number" I couldn't believe this was happening me. Just as I was about to give him my number Skylar interrupted us and said she had to go home cause her mom was blowing up her phone. Me and Luke actually hit it off pretty well we spent hours talking about our lives while I lied about mine. Before I knew it it was 5 o'clock and i was late getting home. I took his number and ran out the bar like a theft in the night. Only to go home to a molester and a ass whooping.