Emotionally Inexpressive

Chapter 2: Good bye Colorado

I keep changing my songs like Taylor swift does with her boyfriends. Except for me this songs are making me home sick already. The car ride is quite. My brothers are passed out, mom and dad keep on taking turns on who to drive.

For me, I am trying to find a song to pass out to. Hitting the shuffle button on Spotify I press play on the song.

Bleeding love by Leone Lewis comes on. Sighing I press next. Nicky Minaj stupid hoe. It's too up beat. Next.
Skip again this time without waiting I press next gain. Then again Next.
Drake. Next.
Taylor swift. Next.
Unknown person. Next.
Justin Bieber. Next.
As i was about to give up whenTake Me Home by Cash Cash ft Bebe Rexha comes on.
Omg!!
This is definitely gonna make me cry.
I put my leather jacket over my head and say out loud.
"I am going to sleep don't wake me up" I turn be volume up SOO high and start crying. Tears just streamed down my face without even making an effort.

The rest of the journey was me silently crying which eventually made me sleep.
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It wasn't long till I had to wake up due to the sudden jerk of none other than my brother. Like who else likes to push my buttons.

I slowly lifted my jacket over from my head. I didn't notice how humid it was under there till the cool air hit me. I sit up straight and collect my composure and one of my headphones slips out of my ear from all of the sudden movements.

"My phone died." My younger brothers deep voice stopped me from putting my headphone back in my ear again.
"Take the headphones off so that I can listen~~" he was trailing of when he noticed the look I was giving him.

I was till dazed off from the nap so, I guess you can just imagine what kind of face I am making. My brother laughs lightly and I try my best to ignore it but instead I join in.
May I add that was a huge mistake. Laughing with a sleepy voice because it just made it even more funnier.

"Shhh, everyone is asleep" my dad said from the drivers seat. Half obeying him, we do half of what he says, which is we stop laughing but we listen to music on my phone. Of Course I lower the volume down though.

Youth comes on by Troye Sivan. I slightly turn the volume up a little because I love this song.
"I love this song." I tell him. He is nodding to the song and I could have sworn I saw him singing along with the lyrics. He just smiles.
"it's a nice song" he replies.
"Do you know the song?" I ask
He nods as the chores come on.

My youth, my youth, my youth is yours. 🎼

For some reason my brother is different like me. I wished. He is different in other ways. He looks older than his age. Heck he looks like around twenty even though he is just 15. Maybe I am exagurating but he is tall. My older brother who is actually 20 looks younger than him. Even people always assume that Nathan is older.
He is pretty but not a douche. He is social and kind to everyone. You would assume that as soon as you saw him you would immediately think he is a player. But no. Nathan is not like that.

I like him and I am closer to him. Sometimes I can just be really chill with him. He doesn't seem to mind when I get all girlie. For instance now. I love Troy and I keep on repeating the song over and over again. He doesn't seem to mind it. It looks like he is actually enjoying it.

Where as for my other brother Julian, I would listen to rap. Since that's what he likes. Not that I mind though because I LOVE rap music. It's just he would comment on how some of my songs are too "girlie".

Nathan gets his iPod out of his jeans pocket. Wait what. I thought his phone died.

"I thought you said it died" I say not liking the fact that he woke me up and then also lied. Going through his iPod he seems to be writing something on the notes thing.
"It did die. Plus my iPod has shit music." He says still typing.

He holds his iPod to wards me and I lower the volume of the song to mute to read what he wrote.

Don't tell anyone but I love this song and I am also obsessed with Troy ☺️😅😍

I take away his iPod and type back a reply.

Omg!! 😂😂 Too scared to admit it ? 😂😂

He takes takes it back and just smiles whilst going back to write back a reply.
No. I was too busy enjoying Troy's handsome voice. 🗣👅😍

I just laugh lightly and shake my head looking at him. I love him so much. I hope he knows that. I hope he also knows that I know what he doesn't what people to know. I am ok with it and I love him. So I don't push him. So instead I stick my tongue out at him and he mimics me back. We are such goof balls. I return to the song and turn the volume up. Way too high.

My youth, my youth is your my you is yours 🎤

My mom and my older brother woke up immediately. Oops. Nathan's give me a you are so dumb look. I just turn the music back down again and suddenly Julian is kicking my chair from the back of the car saying.

"Turn that sad shit off." He says sleepily. Lord this boy is just unbearable. The only thing I have in common with him is that we are moth moody when we are woken from sleep. I just simply turn the whole thing off. Ignoring the sad look on Nathan's face. I turn towards the window and just look at red bridge.

Deep thoughts creep in my head. What if I just jumped off the bridge. Before I could dwell into it too deeply, my moms voice pulls me out of my head.

"Just hold on for a while guys. We are close" my mom says yawning. That also make me yawn and I can't help but notice Nathan doing it. Then Julian and then my dad. I just smile and keep it to myself. Damn I never knew yawning was this contagious.