I pull my keys out of the ignition and lean back in my seat. I breathe a couple times and just remind myself that soon all this would be over and I could just go to uni. I open my eyes and slide out the door of my car. "Time for a day in hell."
I pull open my locker and put my maths books in there before wondering what Layton would be studying right now. The thought put a small smile on my face but it was soon replaced with sadness as I remember he hasn't messaged me once since he left. Nothing. He probably forgot me.
I turn around to walk to first period when I'm stopped by none other than the wicked bitch of the west.
"Zoe, babes, did you forget your sense of style again? I swear, it's probably screaming from your wardrobe to remember it." She smiles and her little group of followers all giggle.
"Actually, that's coming from your wardrobe, you left one of your man-whores in there. Better hurry, before daddy finds out." I pout and turn to walk away.
"See, this is the reason nobody would miss you if you died. Sometimes I wonder why you haven't started cutting. Your life is a mess. You're so ugly it hurts."
"Taylor, leave me alone." I sigh and look for an exit among the gathering of Taylor Lovers.
"I'll leave you alone when all that's left of you is a gravestone." She scowls and walks away just as the bell rings.
Taylor had always hated me. From the day I stepped foot into this hell hole, she seemed dot target me. Everyday, in and out, she would make horrid remarks about my hair, clothes and myself in general. For the past year, it got worse. Ever since she saw a cut on my arm, she decided it was okay to tell me to do it again. And again. And again. She quickly moved on to wishing me dead. Yeah, I grew accustomed to it but nobody ever should. Nobody should feel used to being told to kill themselves. But I have. It doesn't hurt like it used to. Sure, my arms and thighs look like a line drawing but her words don't hit as hard as they did. I'm okay now. I think.
The first 4 lessons of the day dragged. Double English then English literature then maths. What a start to the week. With a bag significantly heavier than when I first packed it this morning, I leave for the lunch hall.
"Zo? I heard what happened with Taylor earlier, she's such a bitc- hey babe!" My friend Elsie is so sweet. She really cares about me and what I do and tries to always make sure I do the right thing and she always says she's there for me but I'm nowhere near her top priority. That would be Dallas. Her boyfriend. They're on and off constantly but that won't stop them. Every 3 seconds with them, it's a make out session. It's difficult to get 1 word in let alone a sentence when speaking to either of them.
"Zoe, you eating that?" Dallas asks as he breaks away from Elsie.
"What, the pasta? No. Help yourself." I smile but before I've finished my remark, he's back to eating Elsie's face. "Guess you don't want this then?" I say taking a small bite.
"Oh no, Zoe, pasta is full of bad things, you don't need to be any more fat then you already are." I hear Taylor from behind me and dropped my fork.
"Wh-" I begin.
"Have you actually took your eating into consideration? Because that is just unhealthy." Her words fall on my like a ton of bricks. I suddenly push my tray towards Elsie and Dallas who finished their make out session when they heard the sharp words.
"Leave her alone." Elsie scolds and stands up.
"Oh hush, red lips, if you were a good friend, you would have told her." She smirks.
Suddenly, the world around me suddenly becomes slow and I become dizzy. I stand up and fumble for the door and run straight to the bathroom. I lock myself in a stall and fall to the floor. I don't feel the tears all I feel is the words, scratching at my arms. At my legs. But now, mostly, from my stomach. The fat that overhangs my jeans, now itching to be gone, now knowing of its ugliness. I sit there, hating the fact I didn't see it before. Why, why am I such an idiot? Why am I so blind?
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As soon as I walk in, I throw my bag to the floor and run up to my room. I twist the lock and grant Taylor's wishes.
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Until I can't deal with the pain and I just put a large jumper on and go straight to bed. No food.
I look upwards, out of my sky light. I look at the stars. That's usually what calms me down, thinking about space but right now, nothing can shake me from the fact I didn't realise it before. How could I be so stupid?! I stare at the stars until I've found as many constellations as humanely possible.
Only then do my eyes grow heavy and I drift off into a self hatred type of sleep. The worst type, by far.
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big thanks to PoJayneBartaby for helping edit this💜
YOU ARE READING
Freckles and Constellations
Teen Fiction"Promise me, when we are 18 and cool enough to do anything we want, you will come back to this tree and see me again?" "Zoe, I promise." "I'm going to miss you, Layton" "I'll miss you and your freckles too." Zoe and Layton have been friends for the...
