he wanders the streets, tired and hungry, just wanting enough money for another backscratcher, when finally a beacon of hope, a girl, whom he knocked up in high school throws the baby at him, and screams. "I'm done with this fucking shit!!!!!!!!! You can take care of it because, you know how to change diapered asses!!!!" Her boobs jiggle like a large breasted anime girl.He gently pulls the terrified golem (lord of the rings.) looking ten year old off his face. "Wait!Are you the girl from the alley?!" The girl ran, her breast bouncing more than his grandma's saggy ass cheeks after eating Mexican food. He decided that the... Thing would make a good wurst. He carried the boy to the butcher shop where he was yelled at and made fun of for still wearing his grandma's clothing. The butcher took the boy and held him over the meat grinder. The man took one last look at the boy and then realized... He could make a really good fanfiction if he had someone to type for him. He took the boy home and started working on his fanfic about James K. Polk the eighteenth president of the United States of America. He told the boy what to type and the boy did as instructed or he was wiped by one of the grandma's dirty diapers. The father and son worked tirelessly until, the boy died from exhaustion, the man picked the small boy up and cut him into small pieces before placing the boy's heart into his computer, so no matter what happens they could always work on the fanfic together. He put the other parts of the boy into the toilet and... For once paid his water bill so he could flush the toilet and give his son a proper funeral. Sadly however, he didn't remember how to use the toilet since for ten years he sat in his grandma's basement in the same chair in the same diaper causing him to now have diaper rash. So, he went to the doctor and she felt his itchy balls and said. "You could never produce a child, not with this sack." so he tracked down the woman with skills his grandma had learned while in the Spanish mafia and confronted her. "I didn't have a kid, and if I did, it's name would be James K. Polk." The woman grinned evilly and sprayed him with her giant tiddies. She ran away "maybe it's not yours but... Now, I can tell the police you murdered him and I'll get insurance money!" She ran and he rubbed the burning goop out of his eyes, and screamed because after all those years... He had seen his high school girlfriend (lesbian friend who got drunk at prom and wondered what dick tasted like.) so he went home and ten hours later police showed up and arrested him. He went to court and was found guilty after police inspected his grandma's house. He stood at the desk for the jail, he had to turn over everything on his person, he did and then was frisked and given a super cute orange jumpsuit that hugged his curves. "Is there free time? To use a compooter?" He was then slapped by a guard. "You murdered your son! But, yeah, we aren't into that whole, death penalty thing anymore so, as long as you don't fuck with anyone, especially big daddy... You'll be fine." He nodded and was thrown into a cell, where a large man, with very broad shoulders and two thousand tattoos was waiting. "Name's Beary, 'cause I'm Beary beautiful." The man pointed to a little stitch of a bear, on his breast pocket but, he recognized the stitching, the pattern. "Grandma?" He lightly ran his fingers over the stitch. The man nodded slowly. "I know you didn't do it, I came to get you out." She whispered quietly. "Your name, is Beary's pin cushion... Not that it's pins I'll be sticking in you." Grandma/Beary went back to the tough guy voice they were using before. "O- okay, Beary..." He whimpered, genuinely confused. Later on, after all the work was done, he turned to his grandma. "Grandma? Why'd you pretend to be dead for ten years? Can you tell the future?"
