A Secret Vow

18 Nothing

"You then make a turn to the left" he instructs me.

I know.

We turn and I once again see the decorative vases filled with flowers.

"Okay" I lie to him.

I glanced at Clive at ever opportunity I had during this walk. Mostly when he checked the candle and checked behind us. Now that I think about it, Clive was acting very cautious during this walk. His foot steps were heard, but not loud enough for others to hear from a distance. He even held his hand over the candle to lessen its light. Maybe it's just me, or are we walking really slow? It feels like we are about to do something absurd. Something wrong.

I smirk.

I felt Clives stare, like he was waiting for an explanation.

"It's nothing" I try to say convincingly.

He looks down and chuckles.

I watch his wavy black hair dance around his face.

I had to actually physically stop myself from touching him.

I notice my room from a distance and I felt a flow of disappointment. I wanted to walk longer with him. I want to see his hair, his face, his body...

I tried to take smaller steps but it just caused me to trail behind him.

I went back to my normal pace and couldn't control my facial expression. I think I'm pouting.

I scratch my arm.

No. A carriage is waiting for me tomorrow we can't stop now. I don't know if I will ever see him again. I might see him in weeks or months! Maybe years!

I step in front of my room. I look at the door lightened by the candle.

I look at Clive who hands me the candle holder.

"Now be careful with it, it's hot" he warns me.

I take the holder out of his hands and try my best to touch his fingers.

I'm holding the candle holder.

In disappointment I open the door and face him.

"Goodnight Clive"

Before I got the chance to close the door, Clive laid his shoulder against the side of my door frame. Displeased.

Confused, I ask him "what?"

He pushes himself back up and brushes through his hair - sighing.

"What? Will you tell me already!?" I pester.

"Lilium" he said annoyed. Pulling his hair back.

"I don't understand Clive..." I tell him.

He let one of his hands free and kept on pulling back his hair with his other hand. He looks at me in disbelief. Like I betrayed him or made a fool out of him.

"I'm guessing you took back that invitation?" He mummers.

My mouth opens.

"I saw that look you gave me downstairs"

I felt my face burn.

"You wanted me"

My pupils widened.

"And now I'm yours"

My trembling fingers clutched onto my nightgown. Hoping its soft material would calm my frightened hands. My teeth are jittering. Trying to cope with the cold true.