Never Again

I saw his lips againt hers. Her lips against his. I wanted to run but my legs wouldn't move an inch. It was like standing in quicksand, I was slowly being dragged down into the sand and I knew that if I moved, I would just sink faster. I saw his lips against that girls, her lips were against my guy. My boyfriend! I heard myself let out a sob and he looked at my way, his lips still against hers. As his eyes met mine he pulled away. "Rose I'm-" I started to run. I didnt care that my legs felt like sand, I had to get out of there. I didn't want to hear his stupid excuse. Two years. We've been together for two years, and he cheated on me!? This night were supposed to be our last night together in a while. It was my last night before moving to Ireland and he ruined it. I ran, and I kept running until I couldn't feel..-

I woke up by a knock on the door. "What?" I murmured. The door opened and my brother came in. He was in a couple of grey sweats and a blue tank top. His dark, straight hair was sprawling in all directions and he looked like he just woke up from a deep sleep. "You were crying again." He said and sat down on the side of my bed. Not until he said it I realised that my cheeks were stained with tears. "Do you want to talk about it?" He said and put his hand on my arm and rubbed it softly.

I shook my head. "No."

"Prim.. If something's bothering you, you can always tell me. You know that, right?" He looked so sad, his eyes, I couldn't bare them. I looked down at my duvet and played with my fingers. He always pulls those bambie eyes on me when there's something I'm not telling him. But I wasn't going to fall for it this time. "I can't.. I'm not ready." It was quiet for a little while. Devin was eyeing me, waiting for me to break. Eventually he sighed when he realised that he wasn't going to win this time.

"Okay, but let me know when you are." He said and smiled weakly at me. He kissed me on the cheek and stood up slowly. "Yeah sure." He stopped by the door and looked at me over his right shoulder. "Sweet dreams." He said before closing the door. "Like that would ever happen." I whispered to myself. I thought about the memory that always apears in my dreams. I shook my head. No, I can't let it get to me. But it already have. I have to forget him, move on. But if you've been in a relationship in two years, it's kind of hard to just forget it.

******next morning******

I woke up by the annoying sound of my alarm clock, reminding me that it's time to go back to hell.

Well for me, it's time to start a new school, equivalent; hell.

I went up and started to search threw my boxes for some clothes.

I have like a doussin of boxes in my room and I only know what half of it is.

I found a box that said: "Ppt=Prim's private things" and started to search threw it. I found nothing but books and photos.

I found a black, rectangle formed frame, lying with the back up. I know that frame all too well. I picked it up and turned it slowly, up straight, so that I saw the picture. It was a picture of me and my boy-. Ex. Me and my ex-boyfriend, Wes. He held his arm around my shoulders as he kissed my cheek and looked in to the camera. I had my arms around his waist and was smiling like a goof.

I immediately put the picture back in the box. It made me sick. He made me sick, and I was afraid that if I stared at it any longer I was going to throw up. 

I shook my head and went over to Devin´s room. I knocked on the door. 

No answer.

I knocked again. "Devin." No answer. I knocked harder. "Devin, open the door!" Why isn't he opening the god damn door. 

I ran down the stairs and stopped in the hall and looked around. "Mum?" I called. "I'm in the kitchen!" I ran in to the kitchen and saw mum sitting by the table, drinking her morning coffe and reading the paper. 

"Where is Devin? I need to know where my clothes are." I asked her and cocked a brow. She took a sip of her coffe and looked up at me standing in the doorway. "Well I don´t think he knows that either." Mum grinned. I nodded urgently. "Yes he does, because he was the one carrying some of my boxes, now where is he?" I got more impatient. I didn't want to be late on the first day of school, even though I didn't even want to go there.

"Him and Luke went back to England to get the last things in the house. They´ll be back tomorrow." She looked down in the paper and took another sip of her coffe. "They went back to England, without telling me? Without asking me if I wanted to go with them." I was shocked. Devin always wanted to spend time with me, and he always told me if he was leaving somewhere.

"Well you have school." Mum reasoned. "They do too." I folded my arms over my chest. Mum looked up from the paper and sighed. "No, because Luke dosen´t start until next week since he starts the first year of college, and Devin is going on a trip with his class since it´s his last year of college and I think he starts next week, too." She smiled weakly and put her attention back to the paper and her coffe.

Devin what? He´s going on a trip.. next week? And he haven´t told me yet? I looked down at my feet. I felt kind of.. kind of disappointed, and downhearted. He tells me everything, and I mean everything. He is like the big sister I never got. You can talk with him about everything from a bad test to period sickness. He would always understand, even though I know he dosen´t prefer the period part, he still supports me. When it comes to boys, it´s not a very loving subject that he wants to talk about. He litterly thinks im going to stay 7 forever and that I will never find a boy. But that's just dreams for him. Well now, his dream had come true, because I'm not getting a boyfriend, ever again. At least not until I'm like 27.

"You can check mine and dad´s wardrobe." Mum interrupted my thoughts. "What?" I looked up at her. "Maybe the box with your clothes are in our wardrobe, he could have mixed our clothes together." She nodded towards the stairs. I nodded and ran up to mum and dad´s room.

I gasped when I came in to their wardrobe. There´s a lot of boxes in here, even more than in my room. And that's only in the wardrobe. They had plenty boxes in their room too. I started searching threw a few boxes and smiled when I finally found my clothes. I grabbed it and walked in to my room.

I sat it down on the bed and grabbed a white t-shirt with blue stripes on it and a black skirt. I started digging for my black suspenders and held them up in triumph when I found them. I found a pair of black tights and put them on. I had my own style, I don't like being like everybody else. I mean, I can't possibly be anyone else than me, so why dress like them? 

I put all my clothing on and sat down infront of my mirror that was hung up above my drawer. I started brushing my hair. I have dark blonde wavy hair that reach a little longer than to my shoulders. 

My thoughts wandred away and landed on Devin. He´s going away. He´s leaving me for, I don't know how long. What if something happens? What if Wes tries to bother me? What if I feel the need to tell him what happened that night. I can't even go a day without talking to Devin, and now he´s leaving. He hasn´t even told me anything yet. I'm going to confront him when he gets back tomorrow.  I really want to know how he´s planning on telling me. This can be fun.