Supernatural imagines

Save me cas x reader

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, SELF HATE.
Reader pov;
Living with the Winchesters was better than living with the people you used to call "family." Your father, a drunk who didn't care about anyone but himself and his job, your mom, the one who kinda cared but pushed you a little too much. And you brother that got in to drugs and drinking. Becoming scarily aggressive with you and other family members. You had left when things got too out of hand. Unfortunately, you were in the wrong hotel at the wrong time and got sliced and diced by a demon. Nearly on your death bed when you heard the Winchesters break in and heard someone yell for a guy named Castiel. You had blacked out seconds later.
"Y/n? Are you okay? Your pushing your food around again." Dean asked "Yeah, just in my head right now." "Wanna talk about it?" "No I'm good, thanks though Dean." "No problem kiddo." Dean got up, throwing his already empty plate into the sink. You got up and put yours in the fridge, hoping your noodles and chicken would still be there in the next couple hours.

You turned around to see Dean leaning on the counter, he didn't say anything, just gave a sad look as you went to go off to your room. "I'm here if you need anything, so is Sam... And I'm sure Cas would love to see you." He gave a small smile and you gave a small half asses one. "Thank you Dean." You walked off to your room.

Closing the door all the way, making sure that it was locked you go over and sit on your bed. Your mind racing with thoughts.

What if I turn out like them? What if I fuck up? What if Dean and Sam and Cas don't even give a fuck about me? Hell I'm a burden to them. I'm so unstable, I'll end up being a drunk. I'm too clumsy to help with hunts. I'm not skilled like Sam and Dean. Im not nearly as smart as Sam. Im not attractive enough to be used as bait. Even demons see how ugly I am. I'm not powerful like castiel.... God how I've missed him..... How I miss his small awkward hugs. Even though they are still comfy and warm and better than any other hugs I've had. He probably doesn't  want to  see me, hell I don't want to see me. He's beautiful, he's an angel, I'm a useless human. I have nothing to live for. I'm a worthless mistake, they would all be so much better off without me. I'm a piece of shit.

"Y/N? " I heard a deep voice say. "Cas." You whispered looking up. "You know every time you think my name I hear it right?" He mumbled looking down at his dirty dress shoes, coated in mud. "Oh." You whispered, looking down at the ground. "Y/n... I....." He sat down next to you on the bed. Running small circles on your back. "Come here." You turned to face you and he quickly wrapped you up in a hug. "We all love you..... Some of us love you in a different way from others. Y/N your my favourite person in the whole universe, through out all of time. You... Your beautiful, your breath taking. We love you so much. Please, let me help you." Cas said while holding you close. "Cas I'm fine." He sighed letting go of you and looking at your eyes. "Let me be your superhero?" He whispered, and you sighed. "Cas...... Save me.... Take me away.... Make it stop please..." Your voices wavered as you chocked out those words. "I promise I will try my hardest." Castiel said and pulled you back in for a hug. "Thank you." You mumbled into his trench coat."thank you for finally letting someone help... Thank of for letting it be me... I love you."