Trigger

Ch. 3 - I'd Prefer a Hangover

beep. beep. beep.

james' alarm rang in his ears sharply as his eyes shot open.

he laid there for a second, the alarm still going off. 

"god fucking dammit," he whispered as he rolled over to turn it off. he rubbed his eyes free of sleep and sat up reluctantly. his head was pounding. he could hardly remember what had happened last night, and not in the good way. 

he barely slept and he could definitely feel it.

he took another deep inhale and rested his head in his hands, trying to remember what had happened last night.

he remembered the cuts.

aleks crying.

aleks leaving.

but what happened after that?

james shifted uncomfortably and got up to stand. he eyed the clock again, and it said 7:30am. why did his alarm go off so early? 

he ignored it, and decided it was a blessing. he would get more time to get work done today, a lot more than if he would have slept until 10 like he was supposed to. he probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep again anyway. 

mind aloof, he trudged his way to the bathroom, and looked at himself in the mirror.

"jesus fucking christ," james uttered to himself. his eyes were bloodshot and he had huge bags under his eyes. he turned the faucet on and ran it until it was as cold as it would get, then cupped his hands to get some. he splashed it all over his face, but it got all over his shirt and pajama bottoms too.

a deep sigh escaped his lips, accompanied by a low "what the fuck".

after a quick shower and a change into lounge clothes, he returned to his room to see his computer screen on. 

"i could have swore i turned that off," he mumbled as he made his way to the computer chair. he plopped down and squinted his tired eyes a little to see what was on the screen. what he saw were endless skype calls to aleks, messages on steam, even private tweets to him. but none of them had responses. he snagged his phone from next to the keyboard, and saw his outbox filled with messages ranging from 'are you okay?' to 'i'm so sorry' and 'please call me'. james must have been desperate. 

"...so that's what happened last night." he sighed again as the unpleasant memories rushed back to him again. he had this constant throbbing in his head and a painful weight on his chest, like he had just been punched. is this was guilt felt like?

"i should call eddie..." james said as he reached for his phone again. he scrolled down his contacts until he reached his friend's name and pressed dial.

it rang for a long time, and just as it was about to go to voicemail, eddie answered with a groggy voice, "hello?"

"hey eddie," james swallowed as he readjusted the phone in his hand.

"it's like 7:50 in the morning, what do you want?" eddie's tone wasn't particularly angry but james could tell that he didn't want to be bothered so early.

"have you seen aleks recently?" james asked.

the question made them both go silent for a few moments.

"no, i haven't," eddie replied softly. "i knocked on his door last night to tell him i was leaving, but i didn't get a response, so figured he was asleep. when i last saw him, he was with you."

"what? he isn't with me, i know that. have you tried calling him?" james could feel the lump in his throat rising and could feel himself starting to get panicky. where would aleks have even gone last night?

"i texted him a few times but he's not someone to really text back. i'm so tired homie, i will talk to you later, okay? don't worry so much about aleks, i'm sure he's fine. he's probably just sleeping or something." eddie said and hung up right after his last words.

james hung up too and practically slammed his phone on the desk. he changed out of his basketball shorts and put on jeans and socks. he slipped a hoodie over his t-shirt and shoved his shoes on as quickly as he could. he pushed his phone into his pocket along with his wallet. 

his feet moved quickly down the stairs as he made his way into the kitchen and snagged his keys from next to the front door. he practically slammed the door behind him as he left. 

he unlocked his car and got in. he started it, the stereo obnoxiously loud from the last time he was in it. as quickly as he could, he shifted it into reverse and backed out the driveway. his eyes still caressed with exhaustion, he put his sun visor down to prevent his headache from getting any worse. he shivered at the cold temperature of the morning as he started to drive in the direction of aleks' house.