Trigger

Ch. 2 - Cat Scratches

creature talk had ended, and james found himself being yelled at by aleks, like usual.

"you're a fucking asshole, you know that?" aleks had a sharp grimace on his face as he backed james into the wall of the hallway upstairs, where no one could hear.

"woah man, chill out. i thought it would be funny to talk about and shit-" james' back pressed against the wall and aleks was about 6 inches away from his face, standing a little shorter than him. 

"don't give me that you fucker," aleks frowned even more. he looked so fucking pissed, and james didn't know what to do to calm him down. he never did.

it was silent for a second and then james tried to sidestep to get away from him. but aleks only got closer to him. he pushed james against the wall by his chest and kept his hand there, making james' inhales a little hard to continue. 

"could you fucking stop? i don't appreciate your hot breath all over my god damn face." the older creature tried to look just as upset as aleks did, which made him even angrier.

"well i don't appreciate being publicly humilated to all our fans. it's not fucking okay to bring up that shit!" he pushed even harder. 

"i thought it was funny. besides, the other guys were in on it too!" james said with a genuinely sorry look on his face.

"how the FUCK is that even remotely funny? me getting drunk and humilating myself and then telling everyone is funny to you?" aleks stumbled on his words a tiny bit. "and i don't fucking care who else was in on it! you're always being a piece of shit to me!"

"yeah, i thought it was funny." the taller one retorted, ignoring the latter of the russian's previous sentence.

aleks stepped back a few inches and folded his arms. he stared at james for a few seconds before james started trying to inch away from him. maybe he could escape to his room a few strides beside him, but he doubted it.

"where the fuck do you think you're going?" aleks raised an eyebrow at him.

"uh, to my room?" james looked at him, confused but amused.

"say sorry." 

"excuse me?" he couldn't help but have a smile creep onto his face. this had to be a joke. he couldn't be serious.

"i didn't do anything wrong, what should i apologize for?" james asked.

"hurting me?" aleks started to get closer again and james moved away slightly.

"don't be such a fucking pussy about it, aleksandr." james replied.

aleks sighed obnoxiously loud at the mention of his full name as he ran his fingers through his hair. as he did so, the sleeve on his left arm lifted up the tiniest bit, and james saw a deep, red slit laying right underneath aleks' palm.

james stared at it way longer than he should have, and kind of squinted to see what was there. but on aleks' end, he quickly noticed what happened and let his sleeve slide down over his hand again and hid it in his hoodie pocket. 

"uh..." james stuttered awkwardly. "what was that?"

"cat scratch," aleks retorted without hesitation. 'god, that was too quick, he'll know,' his thoughts screamed back at him as he begain to panic.

"you don't even have a cat." james restated the obvious. 

"jordan does," the shorter creature choked out quieter than he should have.

"...let me see it." james stepped over to aleks, closing the space that he had made to get away from his friend originally. with that, aleks jerked back violently and backed away from his friend, smacking his head on the wall behind him. 

"no, it's not that bad," aleks shifted his eyes and turned to leave. "look, i gotta go..." 

james rushed up to aleks and grabbed his hood. "oh hell no, you're not leaving until you show me that cut on your arm." 

"why are you so fucking obsessed with it, you asshole? let go of me!" aleks squirmed a bit, but james' grip was tight, and he knew he wasn't going to get off easy anyway. even if he did leave right now, james would find out the next time they hung out. he was royaly fucking screwed. 

"show me it!" james tugged on aleks' hoodie and the smaller man jerked back and stumbled towards james. he quickly regained his posture and turned around to face the older creature.

"okay, i-i guess i can show you my fucking cat scratch." aleks tried to shrug it off, but his stomach was turning in knots knowing what james would see. "it's a fucking scratch from a cat, i don't know what the big deal is."

james gripped aleks' wrist a little too tight and the younger man winced violently, grinding his teeth and clenching his eyes shut in pain. james noticed this, and kind of sneered. "it's 'not that bad', huh?" he remarked as he tugged the black sleeve up about an inch to see the cut right under the ball of his hand. it looked quite deep, judging by it's dark red color. it was way too straight and precisely placed to be done by a cat. a few other red cuts peeked from under the hoodie sleeve.

it was quiet for a few seconds and aleks felt like he was going to burst into tears.

james didn't say anything though. not yet.

he pulled the sleeve all the way up aleks' arm, the fabric rubbing against the freshly cut skin and making the brunette clench his fist in pain.

james didn't realize it, but his eyes widened and his jaw almost dropped at what he saw. he saw countless red slits lined up horizonally all the way up aleks' arm, and a few vertical cuts on the ones nearer to his wrist. the intersections of the cuts looked deeply imbedded in his skin. underneath all of the fresh cuts, a dark pink scar laid itself in the middle of the russian's arm leading all the way up to his elbow. 

"...cat scratches." james looked up at aleks, who had tears running down his cheeks, his face a shade of pink. 

"dude, i don't-" aleks didn't know what to say to explain.

"these aren't fucking 'cat scratches', man. what the fuck?" 

aleks let his tears flow now,  his heart dropping in his chest. he felt like there was a thousand tons of bricks on his chest and he tried so hard to breathe normally, but he could feel himself about to break out into a sobbing mess.

"is this becuse of me?" james let aleks' arm fall to the other man's side as he interruped the silence again.

aleks sniffled. "w-what? why would you... think that?" even though it was true to an extent, aleks would never ever blame this on james. he pulled his sleeve down his arm again, the friction hurting a bit less this time.

"i don't know, i'm so fucking mean to you. and all that shit i said today? you're right. that was uncalled for. i wish you could have just told me this, man. i don't want to see you hurting yourself like that." james let his words flow way too long.

"you know if i told you this shit, you would just tell someone else about it and laugh your fucking ass off!" aleks wiped a tear off of his face, feeling ashamed and embarrassed about crying in front of his friend; especially james.

james felt like someone shot an arrow through his throat. aleks' words fucking stung. did he really think that lowly of him? 

"i would never do th-" 

"yes you would." aleks cut james off. 

then it was silent.

"i'll see you later, man," the shorter creature said as he turned his back to james, who watched him go down the stairs and eventually heard the door slam as he left.