Jokes! I suck at them, but these are too fing funny!
Little Mary
One day, Mary fell asleep in bible school. Her teacher asked her, "Mary, who created the earth?" Johnny, who was behind her, decided to save hert ass and poke her with a pin. Mary jolted awake and screamed, "God Almighty!" And the teacher said, "Very good, Mary!"
Again, Mary fell asleep. A few minutes later, her teacher asked, "Mary, who is our Lord and Savior?" Again, Johnny stuck the pin in her arm. Mary shouted, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher said, "Great job, Mary!"
Mary fell asleep again. The teacher asked her, "Mary, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 26th child?" Johnny pricked Mary with the pin, and she shouted, "God! If you stick that thing in me one more time I swear I will break it in half!!!" The teacher fainted.
lol and sorry if your Jewish or something and don't go to bible school or don't believe in Jesus or God or whatev so yeah. :(
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There is a zoo somewhere that holds gay penguins. Is it just me, or is "The Gay Penguins" a great band name? Maybe not.
Now here's where the soap opera part comes in. One of the penguins leaves the other for a chick penguin,(not a baby, a girl. Aren't penguins past pedophilia?) Anyway, they had a baby penguin and lived together for 4 years. You'll naever guess what happened after that! Okay, maybe you will. The daddy penguin left his baby mama for his ex-lover! And they lived happy ever after. Or maybe not...mwahahaha!!
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Hvae u poelpe hared of the sudty wehre tehy rarngere the ltetres in a snetnece but you siltl see the wrod as lnog as the fsrit and lsat ltetres are in the rgiht palce? Taht's the fckeud up hmaun mnid!
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Have you ever seen people on the street and said, "OMFG! Tgose dudes/chicks are like, sooo wierd!"
Okay, I know most of you don't think like that but respect me because I do!
Anyway, I was watching Oprah, (cool, right?) and there were these plastic chicks who spend like, $1,000,000 a year on 'beauty' supplies and treatments. This gay guy named like, Andre or something was giving them "make-unders". It's like a reversed gay makeover in action! lol, one chick was majorly obese, (no offense to my fellow ladies) and she was completely plastic, fake boobs and all, and she was doing the same to her 15 year old daughter! omfg!
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Hope you liked it! If you find any of these jokes offensive or something comment, and I'll apologize. Scratch that, comment whether you find it offensive or ROFL, it just makes me feel good.
That's right! You guys make me warm and fuzzy inside. And I'm giving you a url form shane dawson
If youve heard of him or like random sexual cussing crap, than watch. If you don't, don't watch.
http://www.youtube.com/user/shanedawsontv?blend=1&ob=4
