So, my friend Sabrina (WeirdoChick23) posted a Justin Bieber rant and I decided to post one too. Beware! If you are a JB fanatic like my friend Olivia (loveandpeace) you might either cry or (I hope) change your views of J Beaver.
So, a lot of chicks (and some dudes) love this guy Justin Bieber. Is that his name? Yeah, I think it is... Anywho, so, a lot of girls shouldn't like him, because:
Numero Uno: I hate his fucking hair! Scratch that, I don't think any part of that guys' body has the ability to fuck.
Numero Dos: He has all these songs with cool rapper guys like Usher and Ludacris, but he doesn't rap! He can barely dance and sing!
Numero Tres: How did he get famous so fast? One day, I was already disgusted with everybody and the Miley Cyrus thing, but the next everybody is all like, Do you know Justin Bieber?
This is a real conversation I had with this girl Kayla who sits next to me a lot:
Kayla: Lexi, have you ever heard of Justin Bieber? He is soooo hot!
Me: No, I only heard of him this morning. I never saw a picture.
(She goes into her bag and takes out a wallet or something, takes out a tiny picture)
Me: Oh God! That's who ever girl in the Continental United States loves?
Kayla: Omigod yes! Isn't he dreeeaaaamyyyy?!
Me: Yeah, sure. (I don't want to get on her bad side! She's popular!)
Kayla: Did you hear his song One Time? I absolutely love it!!!
Me: I just said, I only heard of him this morning. I have a life.
(All the sudden this popular guy Julian comes up to Kayla and starts singing "Imma tell ya one time..." while doing a 'Chicken Noodle Soup' dance)
Ms Suk: Guys! Be quiet or the horns come out! Ya know, under my halo?
So I spent the rest of my day being paddled about not knowing who the hell this guy is. Who even flipping cares? He's a pop star! What's next, a purity ring like the other certain JBs I know?
Yet another reason he shouldn't be famous: Almost all of his songs are about love and girls and stuff, but I don't even know if he's ever had a girlfriend!
That reminds me of another pop star I don't like; Taylor Swift.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love her music, but still, reasons:
1. She got a deal when she was like 11, but it took 5 years for her to be known everywhere.
2. She rights all about being in love and getting married. I can name 2 right off the bat (Mary's Song, Love Story, Fearless, Our Song, You Belong With Me, and those not even counting the ones where she 'gets her heart crushed')
3. Everybody says her songs are 'so relatable', yet ¾ of her songs are about love, and most of her fans are 9 and are yet to have a boyfriend anyway.
4. She is blonde. I myself am blonde, and do NOT enjoy the experience. Everybody makes stereotypes about you and say your hair is so pretty. It used to make me VERY uncomfortable. Blondes do NOT have more fun.
5. I first heard of her in second grade in my Nana's basement watching TV when "Our Song" came on and I thought she was at least 25.
But Taylor at least has talent. And apparently Bieber does, too, maybe it's just mute to my ears. But one girl I don't understand is Smiley Cyrus.
She used to be decent, until she turned into a slut. And MARK MY WORDS! When I think of 'slut', up comes Miley Cyrus and her idol Britney Spears. Reasons!
1. She posed naked except for a sheet for the cover of Vanity Fair. She might as well just shave her head now, she's turning into Britney Spears so fast.
2. She had an underwear model for a boyfriend, who just happens to be like 20, and the love interest in the Love Story video by Taylor Swift.
3. She was #29 on the Forbes Celebrity 100 list, 16 places behind Britney and 24 places behind Tiger Woods. Just shows what a good person she is!
4. She started Hannah Montana when she was only 12, which is creepy on too many levels.
There are probably so many reasons why she is a slut, but these are the ones I came up with and I probably can't count as high as the list can go.
But one more thing: Her sister Noah, is a dirty little 10 year old. Just saying.
