when dan opened his eyes the next morning, it was a frenzy of emotions, hitting him square in the face and making his body sink further into the bed. his eyes travelled to his beeping phone, the alarm had woken him up almost instantly and he sighed, licking his dry lips and clutching the duvet to his chest, letting his eyes adjust to the soft lighting of his room.
phil is getting married today.
he tilted his head to the right, attempting to look outside the window, and from the almost translucent curtains, all he could see was the sun struggling to break through the thick clouds, that had decided to take over england. he sighed, after five minutes of doing nothing but laying in bed, he got out, shutting his alarm and pushing the duvet off his body, letting his bare feet hit the wooden panels of the cold floor.
he stretched his arms behind his back, letting a tired yawn escape his lips as he rubbed his eyes, posture slackening when he realised that today was probably the last day where he and phil were going to spend time together, because let's face it, neither dan would try to contact phil after this, and he highly doubts phil would take his eyes off his future husband for even a second to check up on dan.
dan shrugged. it was too early for his brain to be occupied with thoughts that consuming and overwhelming, so for the moment, he continued his persona from last night, where he was back to his pretentious self, telling himself that he didn't want phil, that he was happy for him.
dan never understood it.
the concept of being happy for someone you love, when they are in a relationship with someone else, someone that isn't you. how could you possibly stop pining after that person?
how do you get rid of their smile, the one that they give you when you know they are happy? and the one where their lips curl up ever so slightly to thank you? and the one where they are carefree and wild and happy and it is just so wide and beautiful that you want to capture it?
the look in their eyes, the one where small crinkles form in the soft skin and they are just looking at you with so much love and passion and emotion and it just makes you want to kiss them? and the one when they wake up in the morning, where their eyes are half open but still so bright and soft and comforting that make your day better when it hasn't even started? and the one where their pupils are dilated, and their arms have you pinned against the wall and you just know what is coming the night after?
the way their lips are pink, so overwhelming with the pale colour but at the same time so simple and approachable and you feel like just leaning over and caressing them with yours? when the same pale lips are chapped and bitten and red and you just swipe your thumb across the plump surface to soothe it? and every time you kiss them hard their lips are swollen and inviting and god you just really want to kiss them again?
and their hands? the way they are fidgety yet comforting and warm when they hold yours? the way it just makes you feel settled and sorted and just so at peace when you know that they are there for you? and when they hold your waist, fitting perfectly in the curve? and when the fingers curl around your hips? or travel down your torso? or just gently twirl a piece of your hair fondly to make you fall asleep? or the way that their palms are so warm against the small of your back where they rub soothing circles? or the way they cup your flushed cheeks before kissing you gently?
and god the list would go on forever. how could a person be so compassionate and generous? just letting go of everything so easily and letting another person have it? have what used to be their life?
