You were supposed to stay / ²JAE

Youngjae #5

Sorry I've been MIA with this story. It has been kinda difficult putting this into words. Hope it makes your wait worth the while.

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"I'm losing it!" was all the boy could think of. At last he was holding Jaebum's hand. After all this time, being able to stand near him, sure was a blessing.

"Don't fuck this up now Youngjae. Don't you even dare!"

The night was young and the boys were side by side. Thoughts were both eating them out. They were nervous. Their hands were sweating but they didn't let go. Awkward didn't even begging to cover it. Youngjae cleared his throat and for a moment it hurt. That's how dry his mouth had become.

"So Jaebum... erm... how did your tests go? You think you did alright" he questioned trying to start up a conversation. The other smiled and started telling him all of his stories. Much to Youngjae's surprise, Jaebum was all smiles and didn't hesitate to tell  everything.

"OMG I HAD TOTAL IDIOTS IN MY CLASS!" Jaebum exclaimed. That made Youngjae smile at him adoringly. He seemed so childish at the moment. Like nothing ever happened. Like nothing ever bothered him. But he knew better.

"and you know how they let you stay in class for about 3 hours before the procedure officially starts? That's bullshit! No one should be put through that! I was fine in the begging but bitches started stressing over it and it caught me too. What the hell was I supposed to do? They didn't allow headphones in at all so I couldn't listen to some music to relax me. It was hell!" and the rant could have gone on forever, if Youngjae didn't cup his cheek and pulled him closer to his face.

"Relax Bummie. It's over now. I'm sure you did great and you'll have plenty of time to recover mentally. Summer just started after all" and he smiled at him, in a way Jaebum found it so compelling and captivating. For all he knew, Youngjae could've told him the most unbelievable lie and he would still buy it.

Stopping in a neighborhood park for children, they sat cross legged in front of each other. No one talked. They just stared peacefully for a moment. Then they wandered their eyes aimlessly without regard of what they were looking at. Thank god few people were around.

"So Mr. Sunshine" Jaebum started and that earned him a snort from the other. Youngjae raised his head and smiled somewhat, deviously at him. That caught Jaebum off guard and his smile faltered a little, only to be replaced by the curios look he used to give to Youngjae whenever he acted strange. And now he sure was acting strange.

"I don't like that smile. Those eyes always kept things from me" Jaebum accused but still kept a little smile on his lips. The other continued to stare him down. "well Bummie. These eyes have seen quite some stuff so don't be so surprised when my mind wonders off from time to time. It's still somewhere related to you nonetheless. After all, I still want you... but I'm not so sure if I'm still wanted."

Jaebum thought for a moment without giving anything away but his heart was racing. Even though he appeared like nothing got him emotional, he was in front of the most emotional case he have ever been in his life.

It was Youngjae after all. The Youngjae! The one who he always came back to, no matter how much he swore he wouldn't. It wasn't sane. It's wasn't for the best. It always and still was, a losing game. A game of which he couldn't seem to have enough off .

Though he knew that, he never accepted it. Pushing it out of his mind when Youngjae went back, just to have it slap him across his face whenever he returned. So he was determined to end this game once and for all. But as always... with a catch.

"You know I always waited for you don't you? You know I always put you first. Even when you put Mark after me so that you could be so damn sure that I wanted you and not him. What even goes through that mind of yours? You know deep down that it always was, just you!"

Youngjae laughed bitterly and then retorted: " Bummie quit it. I know that whenever I went away, you went around other guys and girls. With no regard of me whatsoever. DO not play that role with me, I'm serious!"

That got the other mad but he still kept his cool.

"Tell me what to do then, when you're so far away and don't even have the decency to talk to me? And I see you've kept tabs on me anyway. What am I to you? What tells me for sure, that you aren't doing the same there huh? You're no saint, I know that!"

He got up angry and started pacing in front of Youngjae, who was abnormally staying quiet. "Whatever you might think you know, I assure you it isn't real Bummie. But as for you, I know you have a guy..." Youngjae added, oh so quietly

Jaebum stopped on his tracks and just sighed out loud, hanging his head low. Then he turned his head towards him and snapped "tell me what to do then, if by any chance that will make you happy and hopeful for us again. You want me to leave him, or everyone for that matter? You say the word and I leave him. Just say it!"

Youngjae's skin prickled suddenly and a painful shudder went through his body. Hearing him, snarl his words like that, was making him weak and his heart throbbed. But nonetheless, he responded as ever, calm and composed: "You know I shouldn't have that say in your life. I can't. You have to do that by your own free will."

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Here starts a bit of drama...