Um... TRIGGER WARNING? Mention of death, Cancer, etc?
The machine emitted a slow, steady beat.
I could hear his laboured breathing through the door.
I stopped my pacing and glanced back to see Jenna passed out sleeping on one of the waiting room chairs.
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.
I shouldn't have brought her here, I should have come alone. We had been here for hours, it wasn't healthy. I sat down next to her and held her hand.
The doctor came from around the corner, holding a clipboard. His shoes click-clacked and his coat flew behind him.
I stood up suddenly.
"Please. Tell me something good." I said. I could hear the plea in my voice.
Jenna gave a small start and looked around, confused. Her eyes fixed on the doctor, and I saw it all come back to her.
The doctor signaled for her to come over, and then began.
"I'm afraid Mr. Dun's condition hasn't improved."
My heart sank.
"In fact," he took a deep breath, "it has worsened significantly."
He looked at me.
"Mr. Joseph--" he started.
"Call me Tyler." I interjected. It wouldn't matter now.
I gripped Jenna's hand. I could feel my heart pounding.
"Tyler..." he started again, taking his time in forming the words.
"I'm going to have to be frank with you..." he took yet another deep breath, "I don't think Josh will live the night."
I felt all the moisture leave my mouth. I couldn't talk, I didn't think I could breathe. My mind started to slow down, and everything was painfully real. I felt trapped in my own mind.
The doctor started to explain the charts on his clipboard, but my brain still wasn't working.
Then pieces of noise came through:
The doctor, explaining what the tiny numbers meant.
Footsteps from another hall.
The phone ringing.
I could hear my heart pounding, feel my blood rushing. My heart was pounding fast and hard and painfully furiously.
But Josh's heart sounded completely different.
His breathing was weak and slow and uneven, when mine wasn't.
It came too fast and too suddenly.
My mind went blank and then Jenna was squeezing my hand and the receptionist picked up the phone and the doctor stopped talking and looked at me like I was supposed to say something or do something because my mind wasn't blank anymore, it was too loud and too crowded and the doctor asked me something again but I didn't care anymore because Josh Dun was going to die, die, die and I couldn't do anything about it.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to puke. I wanted to run and hide and never look back.
It was surreal.
I tried to recollect myself and looked at the doctor.
"Can I.... ?" I said, pointing to Josh's closed door.
He stopped mid-sentence, then nodded mutely.
"Yeah... yeah, that'd be good." he mumbled.
But I had already pushed open the door.
