I'm Still Sadie

Interview Without a Vampire

INTERVIEW WITHOUT A VAMPIRE

I took a while to collect myself in the piss colored room and I'll admit that that wasn't easy. My mind was racing and annoying little kid screams could be heard from a few rooms down.

And of course, to add to my struggles, the tiny child decided to join me.

A little boy, probably six years old ran into the room. His superhero pajamas flapped behind him, making me almost crave a little brother of my own.

Almost.

Yet, I had no idea how to talk to kids his age, or even anyone remotely younger than me, so I kept silent. That was the price to pay for being an only child, but I still wouldn't ever give that up for the world. I've heard horror stories from Nell, courtesy of her four siblings, and I had no intention to recreate them.

Nell's older siblings were okay, that's what she claimed anyway. Yeah, they had teased her lots, but the real pains were her younger siblings. Twins, Stephen and Jocelyn were actual nightmares, constantly screaming, fighting with each other, and destroying personal belongings of yours.

Once, they shattered Nell's lava lamp, and another time they put yogurt in her shoes. There was no explanation for either incident except for the fact that they were kids, and kids are guaranteed to be terrible until they turned ten.

In my mind, age ten was the time you either stopped being an asshole, or you continued to be one for the rest of your life.

"Why are you crying?" the little boy asked.

My goodness. He was an asshole.

If you ever wondered if you were a miserable excuse for a human being, just know that calling a six-year-old an asshole was definite proof that you were. But if you knew me at all, that was no surprise for you.

"I'm not crying," I told him.

"Yes, you are!" he yelled, sticking his finger in my face.

Pointing: another signature tiny child move.

"My eyes are, uh, sweating from all of the blinking I've been doing," I said, tripping over every other word.

It was the lamest excuse that I could've given but was the one that escaped from my lips.

"Really?" the boy asked.

"Uh, yeah."

"Are you lying to me? Mommy told you not to do that."

"I'm not lying."

"I'm going to ask Mommy about that!"

"Wh-" I started to say but was interrupted by the boy dashing out of the room. All I could hear now was his footsteps on the creaky wooden floor.

I followed the boy in his trail, I mean I should right? Without him, I would be completely lost in this house and in this life. He had already expanded my knowledge of the piss-walls-girl by informing me that she had a little brother.

When I caught up to the boy down a flight of stairs, he was hugging a tall woman with a bob haircut. Hugging was a good, natural, way to start a morning, so I did it too.

"Good morning, Mom," I said as I went in for the hug.

The little boy giggled to my horror.

Did his lady not go by 'Mom'?

"Uh, good morning, Mommy?" I tried, but he continued to laugh.

"Mama? Moomoo?" I guessed. This wasn't easy guessing whatever this chick called her parents. I always just called my mother, 'Mom' and my father, 'Dad'.