Allegiant alternate ending

Chapter 52-Tobias

When I wake up, the first thing that I register is that I am not in my normal room. The second thing I register is that Tris is not here next to me.

Tris.

The memories come flooding back like a tidal wave of grief, and before the world starts to spin, I sit up slowly. I begin to take in my surroundings. I am on a pull-out couch in a large white room, with only one window behind me. There is a slow paced beep coming from a source that I cannot locate, until my eyes fall on a bed on the other side of the room. I slowly cross the room, and try to keep quiet in hopes of not waking the sleeping person. The face on the bed belongs to Tris, which is something I was not prepared to see. She is pale, and I cannot tell if she is breathing.

I regret coming to see this.

I wonder why I am in here. I surely don't remember being taken anywhere, but then feel a surge of gratitude to the person who put me here. They must've known that of course I would want to be with her, until she wakes up.

If she wakes up.

I spot a chair near the bed, and pull it over so that I can sit next to her. I take her right hand in both of mine, rubbing my thumb on the back of her hand. I bring it up to my lips and kiss it softly, hoping for something, anything, to happen, but it never does. Of course not. This is not one of those sick love stories where everything turns out happy and perfect in the end, but rather the cruel fate that reality has brought upon us.

Tris may wake up. She might not. But I refuse to consider what would happen if she didn't, and keep telling myself that she will, she will, she will.

The door opens, and Christina walks in. "I told them to put you in here." She says, and I nod. So she is the one who had the consideration to put me in here with Tris.

"Thank you," I force out. "That was considerate of you to do so."

"The doctors say that she has a good chance of waking up. They already extracted the bullet, which was in her neck, but nothing vital was damaged. It was close, though, and they said that if she doesn't wake up in three days, she won't at all."

Christina's eyes are red and puffy, almost swollen shut. I don't say anything, because I'm sure mine are too.

"Thank you. I know that she is going to wake up." I say, but I am mostly reassuring myself.

Because Tris is mine, and I am hers, and nothing could sever the bond that love has tied, and I know that if Tris were to die, I would too, because Tris is the only thing I live for.

What is the point of living if the only reason you lived in the first place has died?

Christina slips out of the room, and I do not notice until the door closes behind her.

I am reassured my her news, but I can't get rid of the voice in the back of my mind that is telling me that she is not going to wake up. I still refuse to accept that this girl, who looks so small compared to these large machines hooked up to her, keeping her alive, is Tris, my Tris.

Instead, I hold tightly onto her hand like it is a lifeline and refuse to let go, in fear that the slow beep will turn into a long, continuous beep, which is something I cannot allow, I will not allow it.

"Please, Tris, wake up." I whisper, and let go of her hand. I stand up and walk softly of the room, as if not to wake her, and close the door gently behind me. I know what I have to do, but I do not know where to go to find him. As if on cue, Caleb walks down the hallway quickly, and I shout his name.

"Caleb!"

He turns around, and his eyes widen when he sees me, he begins to speed up, but I am faster, so I catch up to him within a few seconds. I grab his arm and turn him around so he is forced to face me.

"Why did Tris go in instead of you?" I demand.

"I-I don't know. She just did." He says, but I am not satisfied with his answer.

"You know, now tell me or I will force the answer out of you."

"I swear I don't know, and I couldn't stop her!" He says quickly, and in my heart I know he is being honest, but I don't want to believe him. I want an answer, any answer, but I also know the truth.

It sounds better when someone else says it.

I raise my fist angrily, and I don't know what has overcome me because he is the only piece of Tris that I have left, but I don't want him, and I feel like he deserves this, but before I can bring my fist down, a warm hand grabs it. I spin around to see Cara, and her eyes have a wild look inside them, and that is not what makes me release Caleb, but instead it is the words that come out of her mouth.

"It's Tris," She says, and I don't hear the rest of her sentence because I am already sprinting down the hallway as fast as I can to her room, because something has happened, and before I can go in, a doctor stops me.

"Not now, boy." He says, but I have to get in there, I have to see Tris.

I try to fight him, but someone is pulling me back, away from the doctors and the room and Tris. I cannot fight both of them, so I allow my body to become weak as the doctor closes the door and I go weak in the knees, and the person behind me drags me into a chair.

"She's going to be okay." A voice says, and I recognize it to be Christina. "I saw a doctor run into the room so I ran to go get Cara and I told her to find you, because I didn't know what was going on." She says, and her voice catches on the end, and that is what sends me over the edge.

The room begins to spin, and there are one, two, three Christina's and I sit back in my chair and put my face in my hands. I stay like that for a long time, unmoving.

I hear the click of a door opening, and I tell my head to move up. The same doctor that pushed me away is standing in front of me. "Are you Tobias?" He says.

I cannot speak, so instead I nod.

"Come with me." He says.

I follow him into the room, bracing myself for whatever lies behind the wall of doctors and nurses. They are all sending me looks of sympathy, but everything is blurred.

I hear coughing, and somewhere I hear my name. I run over to the bed, pushing nurses out of the way. There, I see Tris coughing weakly, and I can faintly hear my name in between coughs.

"Tris." I say, but it comes out as a mixture of a sob and a cough. "Tris." I say again, and the name feels so sweet on my tongue.

"I-I shut it d-down." She says weakly, and I make a sound that sounds like a laugh and a sob.

"I know baby, I know. You did it." I say, and I grab her hand like I had earlier.

The heart monitor starts to speed up a little bit.

"I don't want to die, Tobias." She says, and although her voice is weak, it is starting to regain strength.

"You won't, I promise." I say, and I want to kiss her, but I can't, because there are so many people surrounding us.

"I killed David, too." She says, and I can detect a hint of pride in her voice.

I have to smile at that. "Good. He deserved to die, Tris." I say, and suddenly, I don't care that there are about a thousand nurses around us, because I lean in and kiss her softly.

I don't care that doctors are trying to pull me away.

I don't care.

There is only one thought in my mind as I cup her chin with one of my hands and intertwine my fingers with hers.

Tris is alive.