Memories of You

Chapter Five - Inevitable

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Tobias' POV

I've just finished the last of my homework, placing it in my bag for tomorrow. I grab the notebook out of my bag and fan my notes with my thumb until I come across Beatrice's letters, tucked within the pages. I read over her letters quickly, having memorized most of her words already.

It amazes me that in just the last few weeks, I have been able to open up to her in a way I haven't been able to do with anyone else. What amazes me more is that I think I'm falling in love with her. With each note that falls into my possession, I learn more about this incredible woman; I crave to kiss her, to call her mine. But the problem is that I can't reveal my true feelings for her, not until I first know that she is safe.

I pull out her most recent letter from Friday, reading over it again, and smile. She speaks of the places that she wants to visit in the world. How she wants to see Paris, Madrid, London, and places she doesn't even know the names for yet. She doesn't want to sit idle, she wants to make a difference. She doesn't want to do what is expected of her and settle down in her life; she wants adventure.

I sigh and think about how to answer her questions about where I would go if I had the chance, and what I would do with my life. What I would be? If Marcus wasn't in my life and I didn't have to worry about him, what I would do?

I lean back in my chair, putting my hands behind my head. Truthfully, I don't care where I go as long as I'm not anywhere near Marcus. Although the thought of going somewhere with her, listening to her speak about the beauty that surrounds her, trying different foods and listening to music while I hold her close to me, does sound like a dream.

I really haven't thought about life outside of the Marines yet. My current goal is to put as much distance between myself and Marcus as I can. I'm sure I could find something to do that would keep me busy and interested. Maybe I could work in a government job to keep people like Marcus from destroying anyone else's life.

Beatrice makes me really think about what I want, beyond just my escape. She actually seems to care what happens to me when I finally get away from him, and that's what makes it harder with each passing day to push my feelings aside.

I pull out a fresh sheet of paper and begin responding to her, pouring myself into each word I place on the page, telling her how amazing adventures like that would be. I honestly tell her I'm not sure what I want to do, but like her, I would like to make a difference in someone's life.

I ask her what she wants to do with her life since she doesn't want to be a teacher or a nurse. I have to restrain myself from asking if she sees me in her future, if she sees me going on the adventures she describes; it leaves a small ache within me.

If I didn't have Marcus to deal with right now, I would run to her home this very instant and do the one thing I've been craving to do since the day I kissed her hand. I want so badly to show her how I really feel, to tell her how much I want to be with her, and to do nothing more than kiss her lips and find out if they are as soft as they appear to be.

Once I'm finished, I tuck the letter neatly in my math book. I stand, stretching my back, before heading out to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I hear the soft music of the radio coming from the living room, and I sigh in contentment, listening to the melody. This is one of the few times Marcus has indulged in such things without drinking. Even though he tells me music is something that takes years to appreciate, I can't help but laugh at the comment. I doubt he even cares what he listens to; I think he simply does it to impress his clients.