Memories of You

Chapter Forty - So This is What Insanity Looks Like

Thank you to everyone who is reading, voting, following, and commenting on this story. You guys mean so much to me, and I just can't thank you enough. I know these chapters are tough, but we will make it through. Just be brave.

Thank you again to Depecher and BarbaraK2U and the incrediable work you guys do that make this story better and better.

Tobias' POV

The truck bounces along the muddy road, but I've only got one thing on my mind: am I going to make it to Tris in time? I have hardly slept this last week; the last two nights, sleep evaded me completely. The trip has been long and tiresome. We've had extra men radioing engineers in the area to ensure the treacherous roads have been cleared of landmines, but now the village is finally in our sights.

As we roll down the cobbled streets, rage creeps into me again, heightening my senses. Tris was here. She was attacked and taken from these very streets at the hands of a man dressed all in black. We received the intelligence about her attacker shortly after we rendezvoused with Lieutenant Colonel Sparks and his regiment.

I want to place all the blame on this mysterious enemy, but there is deep turmoil inside me that's pushing me to place all the blame on myself. I feel like I cornered her into taking this mission that has potentially gotten her killed. She wouldn't be in this situation had I just trusted my instincts and stayed away from her when we first met. Had I just been stronger, braver - had I remained resolute in my efforts to keep her at arm's length, just like everyone else - none of this would have happened. I would have been heartbroken, but she would be safe.

I start to breathe hard at the thought of her being dead, my fists balling against my knees, and I close my eyes to help me push the feelings down. I can't show weakness in front of the men around me. They can't know how close I am to falling apart.

Amar's voice can be heard over the roar of the engine, and I open my eyes to look at him as he speaks to everyone in the truck. "We're going to meet with Lynn Welsh, Orlando Nucci, Evelyn, and her husband, Lucien Gagnon, in about twenty minutes." His voice commands the attention of those in the truck. "This meeting may take a few hours, since we need to determine our plan of action. As well, we must discuss with Lieutenant Colonel Sparks what the plan is for his regiment and whether or not they can continue to support us on our mission. Keep your eyes open at all times, since there is still a potential threat out there." Amar's eyes flit to the young Lieutenant Colonel sitting at the back end of the truck, who keeps his eyes on the road we leave behind.

I sigh, turning toward Amar. "Why aren't we just going in? It's a concentration camp, for God's sake. Shoot anyone that looks well fed," I spit bitterly.

Amar's face remains neutral, but I can see my attitude and mood are starting to aggravate him, especially in front of a superior officer. Amar moves closer to me so that only I can hear, then places a firm hand on my shoulder, giving a hard enough squeeze to be painful, but not to bring me to my knees. "Well, first, we need to speak with Mr. Nucci to learn the direction in which the man took Miss Prior, and then possibly find tracks. Hence why Zeke and George were assigned dogs, in hopes of finding her scent. Second, Miss Welsh is very familiar with Dachau. She has helped several individuals escape. She has been mapping the inside and outside of the camp with the assistance of the individuals she helped set free. So, if you'll stop whining, maybe we can get some shit done," he states harshly through gritted teeth, letting my shoulder go.

I grunt, the blood returning to my shoulder in a rush, but I don't comment. I lean back against the fabric of the truck, my leg jumping in anticipation as I watch Amar sit back down. My anxiousness stems not only from the prospect of getting a lead on finding Tris, but also because I'll be seeing my mother for the first time in nearly twelve years. While I did tell her in the letter that I forgave her for leaving, I'm still not sure how I feel about seeing her in person after everything that has happened.