I Should Have Stayed

Chapter 3

***
"No please! I'm begging you! Don't kill me-"

The gunshot rang out in the confined alley way. I wasn't in the mood for sympathy anymore. He deserved to die at this point. Always hiding from my gang. Always toying with us. Not anymore.

I heard footsteps approach me from the entrance and then they stopped. I didn't move, just simply stared at the dead man before me.

"Jessica. Jessica Greenwick." It took a second for me to register my name. My cover name. I looked at the person square in the eyes and saw who it was. My heart dropped.

"Are you here to kill me?" I asked. My voice did not shake. I was calm.

"No. I'm here to bring you back." I laughed at her. And then I felt a cool barrel against the back of my head and smiled.

"Miller." I said to the figure behind me.

I felt him pull the trigger but there was no shot. A bluff. A test.

***

I woke up with a jolt and sat upright. My face was sweaty and my heart was racing. I laid back down again and thought about the dream. I had been having these memories recently ever since I left and decided to revisit my hometown. They were nightmares and I started to notice just how horrible my life had been in the past year. I shook my head clearing the memories and got up to take a shower.

It was only 5:30 in the morning but I didn't care. I rarely slept anymore. I was always on guard. I took a long shower eating up as much time as I could and then brushed my hair and studied myself in the mirror. My black tips were newly dyed and my body was strangely thin but muscular. I definitely looked like I worked out but I didn't eat enough. My eyes had bags underneath them. Something that I was used to by now.

I went downstairs and smelled food. My mom had cooked pancakes for breakfast at 6:30 in the morning. Early risers. "Good morning, sweety." I sort of cringed at my nickname and then replied.

"Hi mom. Smells good."

"Good. Eat up." We all sat at the table like the night before and ate. Except this time was a little awkward. My mom saw the tattoos down my arms and on the side of my neck. There were only a few, but they told my entire life story. I could tell my parents weren't used to eating with their daughter after all this time. It was a little different for me too. Okay, a lot different. I wasn't really into it.

I checked my watch I had just put on after I ate and my eyes grew wide. I had someone I had to meet. I grabbed my hoodie and put it on even though it was June. It rained a bunch every day here from my memory. I was right as I stepped outside and said goodbye and told them I'd be back by midnight. My mom looked worriedly at me and I knew she didn't want me to leave but I had places to go.

I walked down the sidewalk toward the other side of the neighborhood. A little perk of living in a small town was that everyone lived in close proximity to each other. And for me, within walking distance. I neared a smaller house at the end of a court and rang the doorbell. A girl my age answered it and looked at me shocked. "Dakota? Is that you?" I wasn't going to get used to the look of awe from people.

"Yeah. Hi, Leanne." I said. She motioned for me to come in. Nothing had changed since I had left here. She still lived with her parents and that made it easier for me to find her.

"It's too early for this." She joked. She was always one to make light of a situation. I loved her for it.

"Yeah. I just came to make sure you were okay."

"Uh yeah of course I'm fine. You're the one I'm worried about. You just went off and disappeared suddenly. So tell me… what have you been doing all this time."

I sighed before starting. I trusted her with everything way more than my parents could ever know. I started the story from the beginning as we went and sat on the couch. Once I finished explaining everything we sat there quietly. I had tried my best to leave out details and just explain what made sense.

"So you didn't come back here to see me did you?"

"… No. I had someone that owed me money and then decided to visit my parents and you." She nodded at me and we sat in silence for another moment.

"Heh. Well at least you came. That's a step in the right direction." I chuckled at her. We took some time catching up and then we ate lunch. This was the most I'd ever eaten in months. Usually I skipped at least one meal a day, maybe more depending on what I was doing.

We made peanut butter sandwiches and had chips with it. I ate so fast I thought I might throw up but thankfully I didn't. Leanne just laughed at my rush. "Why are you rushing? Are you that hungry?"

I didn't want to answer truthfully. I didn't want to tell her what had actually happened to me. "Yeah I'm just really hungry." My eyes drifted to the scars on my fingers. I remembered fighting for food at one point but I quickly dismissed the thought. It'd probably come to me in a dream tonight. The memories always did.

After some more catching up with my best friend I checked my watch and noticed that I had to leave. "Well it was nice seeing you after so long." She said and hugged me. It took me a moment before I finally hugged back. "Seen you soon." I said. She stopped me before I could walk out the door.

"Hey. Wanna go shopping tomorrow with me?" I thought about her question for a moment. Would it fit in my schedule? "Sure."

I left her house after we scheduled a time I would pick her up and walked down the court and out of the neighborhood. I made my way into town drawing my hood over my head even though it wouldn't do any good. They already knew I was back. All of them.

My feet carried me to the little coffee shop at the edge of main street where the meeting place was. I peeked in the window and saw him sitting there playing with his fingers. He was the man I was looking for. Just another transaction. Just another deal to make. I took a deep breath and walked towards the door.