Okay so I have basically just been told NOT EVEN ASKED TO BECOME SAMS WIFE
Okay I love Sam but with everything thats happened i'm not even ready for a relationship let alone a marriage
Sams 'Mother' after telling me about the whole marriage thing showed me around their 'Home' which of course has to be a castle
A FUCKING CASTLE! AND SHE SAID THAT IM GOING TO END UP LIVING THERE AND BECOME A QUEEN ITS LIKE BITCH IM A GODDESS SHOULDNT I BE LIKE UP IN THE SKY OR SOMETHING?!?
Anyway if I am a goddess I need to talk to her about it but that women I find it hell hard to be rude too which is a fucking change for once in my life
I'll have to go there soon like really soon I mean if i wait til next week I wont get any answers
I check the alarm clock on my bedside table amd realise that its 1am okay, I need to stop getting up amd going on what seems to be a fucking mission I mean it's not like I'm a missionary I mean if anything I SHOULD ALREADY HAVE MISSIONARIES!
AMELIA FOCUS FOR FUCKS SAKE
Anyway so I put on what seems to be my ninja clothes my hoodie, trackies but...probably shouldn't wear the fluffy dog slippers, yeah probably not the BEST idea so instead I put on my black canvas shoes
I start walking down the road amd my feet just lead me to where I'm going or so I thought I ended up having to stop in front of all these shops because I had no idea where I was going and I look to my left and guess whats there A FUCKING PEDICURE SALON
"SO FEET THIS IS WHERE YOU WANTED TO GO, STUPID FUCKING BITCH"
It takes about 10seconds to realise that I had literally just yelled that out as the remaining people on the street were just staring at me
STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!
Anyway most of the people out are drunk so they won't remeber it tomorrow hmmm but just in case I should wack 'em over the head with a baseball bat
DAMN I KNEW I SHOULD OF BROUGHT THE BASEBALL BAT!
Focus Amelia you have gotta find creepyly nice vampire la..
THE FUCK AMELIA!?! YOU JUST CALLWD THE LADY WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE FORCING LITERALLY FORCING YOU TO MARRY SAM NICE ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?
Anyway so I keep walking but yet again it hits me...I have no idea where I'm going, I dknt even know what the name of the castle is, what road its on OR EVEN WHAT FUCKING COUNTRY IT'S IN I MEAN ITS NOT LIKE I CAN TYPE IN 'CREEPY VAMPIRE CASTLE' INTO GOOGLE MAPS CAN I?!?
"Arghhhhh this is POINTLESS"
And yet again I'm getting confused looks about what I just called out
STUPID, STUPID, STUPID
anyway all drunks...blah blah blah won't remember in the morning....blah blah blah....hit across the head...blah blah blah BASEBALL BAT!
I seriously should have brought a baseball bat, put it into brain memo book of things to remeber aka as I like to call it THE SHOPPING LIST OF LIFE!
BAM! that name is goals....jokesssss but either way it's a pretty good name for me to figure out usually when I have to think of a name it usually ends up being something pointless and doesn't make sense like when i was five I had a cat called Peanuts soooo that got a few giggles and the fact that the cat was actually a guy...kind makes it even worse if ya know what I mean *enter creepy pedophile smirk.....NOW!*
anyway what was I doing....oh yeah got to find out where the hell that castle is, I pull out my phone and realise it's 2am already damn maybe someone can help me ANYBODY so I scroll through my contacts and see a weirdly sophisticated yet creepy new name in my contacts that i haven't seens nefore and click on it, I mean who else would have a name like Gwendolyn these days except a pushy, rude and sophisticated, bitch of a vampire and soon to be new mother in law WAIT FUCK NO THAT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN THATS WHAT YOUR TRYING TO STOP
She picks up on the second ring well thats surprisi....n.......g wait nevermind she's a vampire....continue...
"Hello Amelia"
"Ummm Hi Mrs uhhh sorry I don't really know what to address you by"
"Just call me Gwendolyn"
"Uhh sorry not to be rude but Gwendolyn is a really long name....can I just call you Gwen?"
"Sure if that is what you are most comfortable with....what are you doing up at this hour, is everything okay?"
Did she literally just say that with an innocent and clueless voice yep shes a bitch
"Ummm would we be able to talk? At the castle please? It's really important"
"Sure thing my servant will be there to pick you up very shortly"
"Oh I'm near...."
Next thing i hear is a beeping in my ear
OF COURSE SHE JUST HAD TO HANG UP ON ME
I see a car wait a Limo? Come infront of me and stop a servant opens the door and gestures his hand to the door to tell me to come in
I don't know what to do even though I look like shit I still feel like I should be polite so i grab the material of my trackies of my thigh and what I think is supposed to be a 'curtsy' I step in very delicately but I give up and just walk which is pretty much stomping for me into the rest of the limo then I sit down then see something abosolutely beautiful, I, I , I see
NUTELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I grab the jar and see a spoon next to it ohhh well so much for being lasy like and polite
I dig the spoon into the jar and see the beautiful brown chocoaltely goodness on the spoon and shove it in my mouth
Okay if I get ALL THIS every single day of my life then I may, may think about Marrying Sam
I arrive at the castle and see Gwen standing on the porch holding onto the banister and then I look down and can see my trackies covered in Nutella well....so much for being ladylike well she kinda brought it on herself for putting a wgole jar of nutella in the Limo at my disposal, hopefully she does that clothes changer thing
I look to my right and see 2 white Limos and 1 black one then 5pink ones and then I can see even more of them behind the gate well at least she didnt take me on one of the other ones because it wouldn'tbe whatever colour it was anymorr it would be brown, it would be chocoaltely and IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS
AMELIA BACK ON TRACK!
Anyway so i'm still standing in front of the Limo and Gwen curtsyso I do my version of a 'curtsy' and she giggles
WOW SHE CAN ACTUALLY GIGGLE
well of course though it had to be one of those polite giggles that royalty have I don't have a giggleI have a pig snort and I hate it but maybe I should laugh in front of her and she will think twice about Sam marrying me that could work
