My Thoughts In Writting (Work in Progress Dairy will Update Very Rarely)

Feeling Broken

I feel like giving up on being myself little by little everyday because no one seems to like who I am.

I come with to many flaws that people just end up not being able to look past them.
I understand why you give up.
Because I say I'll try to change but in the end I'm taking to long.

I'm taking my time because I myself don't know how to change I've never been tought how to be different I've just been told to.

To me it's not that easy.
Changing yourself for the better is hard.
Correction.
Myself.

I'm sorry I'm not perfect in the mind.

I'm sorry I never learned how to handle emotion.
I only know how to bottle it up or to let it all out there is no in between.
Only happiness sadness or anger pick one.

I'm not good at real heart to heart convos because no one ever really cared to hear me talk its only what they want hear and what they have to say and what I have to listen to.

I'm not good at this.

I'm starting to want to give up on myself.
Because I can't be a better me for you.
Or for anyone else.

I'm hurting you and I don't even know why I do the things I do.

I don't think.
I never think.
Because I never got a chance to think.

My mind runs at a million miles per second.
That's why one minute I'm mad then sad then back to what people call good ol Dalis.

Everyone thinks I'm so happy all the time but inside it's like a never ending storm of emotions and thoughts.

I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't know who I am.

I'm losing myself.
I'm slowly losing all the best things to have come into my life.
And it's all my fault.
Because I don't know how to act anymore.

It's like a new world to me.
Growing up.
It isnt easy but we all have to do it I guess.

Wish me luck.
I wish luck and the best onto all of you.
.
Thanks for reading some of my thoughts.
~Dalis🌹