With Love, Rae

P.S. VIII

TWO WEEKS LATER

"Rae, please lang. Magrelax ka naman at magpahinga," reklamo ni Liza sa akin nang nahanap niya rin ako sa wakas. "Sabi ni Tita ni hindi ka nga raw nakikibonding sa kanila."

Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at nagfocus na lang sa ginagawa kong designs. For the past few weeks wala na akong ibang ginawa kundi ang magtrabaho al though hindi pa naman nasisimulan ang business ko. I just want to lose myself, even drown myself for a while.

For the past two weeks I feel dejected and damaged. I just want to forget all about him and his existence!

After that very night, I felt so angry at myself for being so easy...like really easy. Hindi ko man lang nagawang pigilan ang sarili and my raging hormones! I am mad at myself for that! Because of that, my everyday life has been affected...and also my attitude to Kevin.

Gosh, also Kevin!

Hindi na niya ako tinantananan. Hindi ko gustong magsungit sa kanya and all that stuff but because of my raging anger, pati siya nadadamay. Well, minsan nakakairita na ang paghingi niya ng chances and pagyaya niya sa akin lumabas. Occassionally, I would agree but most of the time I declined.

He's too persistent.

And I am quite grateful he is miles away now.

Apparently, he turned to business field which isn't most likely himself kasi malayo sa tinapos niya which really doesn't concern me, so he needed to be abroad to...I don't know. Manage some stuff? Work out business things?

So yeah, I am quite thankful...I wish I don't sound bitchy but, my feelings for Kevin are settled. I have told him this a few days ago na whatever he does, I am sure as hell that I won't be able to feel what I felt for him back then.

And he did not like it, of course. But what else can I do? I just...lost it.

I felt a grip on my arm. Tiningnan ko si Liza. "Leave me alone, Liz."

Kinuha niya ang sketch book ko.

"Give it back," I told.

"No," she retorted. "You have a life, Rae. I know nasaktan ka na naman but please, 'wag ka namang maging robot."

Inirapan ko siya. "Ikaw ang may sabi na magtayo ako ng business, Liza. I hope you remember that."

"Yeah, ako. Pero sa ginagawa mo sa sarili mo, hindi ko na alam kung para sa business mo ba 'to o gusto mo lang tumakas."

"Tumakas saan, ha? Saan naman ako tatakas, Liz?" It's still sore. Damn.

"Kanino, Rae. Kanino," she corrected. "'Wag mong iwasan si Traise."

That's it. Lumabas din.

The mention of his name already opens the wound, harapin pa kaya? No way. Two days after that night, the night I found out he's just a bastard who fucks around, he showed up, at my doorstep with flowers in his hand. The sight was worthy of a million vomits.

He told me he was sorry and he was just...jealous.

The hell he would be jealous over nothing?!