With Love, Rae

P.S. V

"Rae! 'Di ba sabi ko tawagan mo 'ko kaagad?" sabi ni Pauline, carefully leading me out the clinic. Pumunta siya agad dito pagkatapos ko siyang itext. Nagulat naman ako ang bilis niya, and I am thankful.

I don't take I still can take being here alone after what happened earlier. Hindi ko alam pero nang umalis si Traise, umiiyak pa rin ako. I cried harder, even. Baliw na talaga ako. Naalog yata ang utak ko at naging ganun na lang ako.

Nagthank you lang ako sa nurse bago tuluyan na kaming lumabas ni Pauline.

"Sorry, I should have," sabi ko na lang.

Maybe because ayoko munang makipag-usap kahit kanino ngayon. I just...feel drained.

"Diretso na lang tayo sa kwarto mo at makapagpahinga ka. Mamaya pa naman magsstart ang party," said Pauline and smiled at me.

Liar.

"No, I'm okay. Pumunta na tayo sa reception room pagkatapos kong magbihis," pag-iinsist ko. Alam kong nagsisinungaling lang siya just to make me feel better pero di ko maaappreciate yun. I know na 6 ang simula ng party and 30 past six na. Ayoko namang mas malate pa. Baka sabihin paimportante ako.

Tulad ng gusto ko, pumunta na nga kami sa venue kahit na nag-iinsist si Pauline na 'wag na muna dahil baka raw kailangan ko pa ng pahinga. Ilang pagpipilit din bago siya pumayag and

I solely thank God for that. Past 7 na nang makapunta kami sa reception room at nagulat ako kasi hindi ganung party ang inaasahan ko. Weew, thank goodness nakinig ako kay Pauline when she said I shoud wear heels.

"Pauline! Pauline!" agad namang tawag ni Sheila, one of my classmates noon pero hindi ko kaclose.

Tumingin sa akin si Pauline bago binaling ang atensiyon kay Sheila. "Bakit?"

"'May problema," rinig kong sabi ni Sheila kay Pauline although mahina naman ang pagkasabi niya.

Hindi sa tsismosa ako ha. Malakas na yun para marinig ko.

Nginitian ko si Pauline and touched her arm, "Sige na, Pauline. I'll be okay."

Pauline looked at me, concerned."Sigurado ka? I c-"

"It's okay. Thank you."

Pauline smiled and nodded bago siya umalis kasama si Sheila. And I was left alone.

Not for too long kasi nilapitan ako nang ibang kakilala ko. Hindi pala basta-basta kami lang nang mga kaklase ko dati. Marami din ang unfamiliar faces. Kinausap ako ng isang grupo ng mga babae rito and tried to befriend me. Yes, for a while, kinakausap ko sila but because I don't enjoy their company, I excused myself to the bar. I got myself a glass of red wine.

Hindi ako heavy drinker so one glass, or two is too much for me, but this time I went for two...three. Sobrang kinakain na ako nang emosyon ko nun at binalak ko na umupo dahil feeling ko anytime babagsak ako. I feel weak.

Just when I thought it won't get anymore emotional, I saw him. I f-cking saw him just a few feet away from me.

I saw him before he saw me.

I noted how his lips enunciated my name...Donna.

He took a step towards me while I took mine but backward.

His eyebrows rose but he still continued to approach me, while I continued backing away. Fresh tears started streaming down my face and I swear I hated myself for that. His pace hasten and that's it. I ran away from him.

"Donna!" I heard him call me.

I did not stop.

My head was spinning, my feet were already hurting and swear I thought I was going mad. Some people were looking at me in a way that I did not like. It made me self-conscious.