Grief

Acceptance

You are Dick Grayson's long time girlfriend. It's been nearly two years since his death by the hands of the Crime Syndicate. You lead a happy life with your son and you are nearly fully healed from his loss. Just when your life has just settled down, the universe throws a twist your way in the form of an unexpected guest.

A little over a year passed since the birth of your son and you were happy again; comfortable with your life. Your son is happy and healthy, you have a good stable job, and your family of brothers gave you and your son nothing but love and support. You couldn't be happier with how your life turned out. While you did wish Dick was here to enjoy this life with you, it no longer consumed your every thought.

You sat playing with John in your living room when he pushed himself up and started to toddle away from you. He was just learning how to walk and still needed a little bit of work. You laughed as he went exploring every corner your apartment with you following close behind him. He giggled brightly as he tried to escape you. Your son is going to grow up to be quite the adventurer.

As you were following John into the kitchen your doorbell rang. You furrowed your brow. You weren't expecting anyone and the people that you knew wouldn't have bothered with the doorbell. You swept John into your arms and carried him to the little playpen that you had invested in. You didn't want him running off and getting himself into trouble behind your back. After you were sure that John wasn't going to disappear anywhere you hurried to the door.

"Hi, can I help - " You started to greet as you opened the door then stopped cold when seeing your guest. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be.

"Hi [Y/N]." Dick said sheepishly standing in front of you as handsome as when you had last been together and very much alive. You stood there wide eyed and slack jawed convinced that you were seeing an illusion. You reached your hand out and cupped his cheek. His hand moved up to cover your own. Tears welled up in your eyes when your hand came into contact with his warm, solid flesh.

"You're alive?" You sobbed in disbelief, tears running down your cheeks. He brought his other hand up to wipe away your tears.

"I'm alive, [Y/N]." He affirmed. Without another word, you pulled him into a tight embrace. He hung his head to rest in the crook of your neck as you sobbed against his chest, his arms wrapping around you to pull you closer to him. The two of you stood there in each other's arms for longer than you can recall. You could have stayed like this for a thousand years but John became impatient and bored. He wanted his mother's attention back. John's cries brought both of your attention to inside your apartment.

"Come in, Dick. There's a lot we need to talk about." You say ushering him inside. When you led him through the door, his eyes were no longer trained on you but your son.

You separated from Dick to pick John up into your arms and sat on the couch with him in your lap. It seemed all he wanted was your attention and he eventually calmed down. You looked over to find that Dick was frozen across the room staring at the two of you. You patted the seat next to you signaling for Dick to join you. He hesitantly joined you on the couch.

"He's yours?" He asked, gently taking hold of the hand that John was extending out towards him. John loved meeting new people so you weren't surprised that he would greet his father with open arms. They were both immediately taken with one another.

"He's yours too." You admitted softly watching the two of them interact. His eyes widened and he looked at you with surprise in his eyes. Unshed tears welled in his eyes as he looked at his son with a new perspective.

"What's his name?" He asked softly.

"John. John Grayson." You answered. He looked at you with unwavering love and pride in his eyes.

"You named him -"

"After your father. It seemed fitting at the time. It still seems fitting. He's definitely turning out to be more Grayson than me and I - " You started to ramble. Dick cut you off with a sweet slow kiss.

"It's perfect." He said as he pulled away. For the next few minutes, you watched as Dick and John bonded for the first time. If this is what life could be like you sure as hell weren't going to let go ever again. But of course the illusion had to be shattered by the hammer of reality.

"I - I can't stay [Y/N]" He said quietly, his voice full of remorse. He looked down at his son as if he was trying to memorize every detail of this moment. He didn't want to let go which is what made his words that much more confusing.

"What do you mean? Why?" You demanded, your face falling. Now that you had him back you did want to let go. He sighed and started in on his story of how he "died" and was brought back only to be thrust undercover into the hands of secret spy organization that was trying to unmask all of the heroes. He explained to you that he had done what Batman had cast him out to do and now he wanted to come home. He wants to be with his family again but he can't. There is still something he has to do before he comes home permanently. He still needed to finish his business with Spyral.

"But [Y/N] I swear to you I won't leave you like that ever again. I will get out of Spyral. I will come home to you. I will be here to help you raise our son. I've already missed so much. I don't want to miss anything else." He promised grabbing hold of your hand and looking deep into your eyes. You looked down at John who had taken to babbling at the two of you. You smiled fondly down at him and brushed your fingers across John's dark hair.

"How long do you have?" You ask him. He told you he only had twenty four hours to say his goodbyes to everyone. He had already made his rounds to everyone else in the family, hopefully leaving you to horde the rest of his time.

"I have to go back in the morning but my night is under your command, if you'll have me that is." He said softly.

"Of course, Dick!" You beamed pulling him into a tight hug. Your faced dropped though, and you pulled away to give him a stern look. "But don't think for a minute Richard Grayson that this means that we're done talking about this. There's still so much that we need to hash out but right now we're going to table those discussions. All I want for tonight is for us to spend time with our son like we're a normal family. Ok?" You said emphasising your point with solid pokes to his chest.

"Ok! Ow that hurts!" He laughed rubbing the spot where you had "wounded" him. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You rested your head on his shoulder. The two of you sat there for a while and enjoyed a quiet moment as a family. "You know, we're never going to be a normal family." He stated, his eyes never leaving John.

"Yeah ..." You trailed off, snuggling further into him and hugging John to your chest. "Somehow, someway I think we'll manage."