Me Being Completely Honest (confessions, fangirling, and ranting)

She Wasnt Ready!1!1!!!1!1!1(hate this but its all i thought of for a title)

So, I was at this girls house, and I wasn't sure I was her friend still, so I asked to hang with her because she lives down the street. So I'm hanging out with her (we are still friends) and I logged into my insta on her iPad because she's cool like that, and I see a message from this guy I dated in sixth grade, and for some stupid reason decided to break up with him over the summer because I thought I liked him, but only as a friend. He's sweet and funny and cares about people a lot. But, I he's really pushing my buttons lately tbh. He asked if I could help him, so me being me, I'm like 'yeah sure what do u need???' And he told me he thought is was his fault my friend cut herself. I once again, for like the seventeenth time, explained to him that it wasn't his fault, it was a different guy who was a total assface  to her and also, that she stopped cutting a while ago, and has no intentions of doing it again (considering we had to call the cops on her). I don't ink he got the hint that I didn't want to talk to him about her behind her back, cause that is just plain old rude af. Then he gave me an explanation which was a bit too descriptive for me. There were probably some parts he could have left out, and it kinda turned the switch in my brain off, because I didn't really know how to take it, or how to process this for myself either. And as the stupid title says I literally wasn't ready for it. For gods sake, the next day I was crying because I realized he doesn't care about me like that anymore, so I was just trying to keep myself busy and not think about it, and there's nothing better than making doll clothes to get your mind off wanting to tear apart everything in sight. Yup. Doll clothes. I don't fucking know anymore.