Entertainment [Frerard]

I crouch on the branch, my feet curved over the wood.  Staring out into the sky, I can see the last few stars cling onto the night.  But they disappear as the light of dawn breaks.  I lean back against the tree trunk, staring out into the endless sky through the foliage.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here.  It was dark when I climbed up the wide trunk.  It wasn't my best idea, climbing up a tree to a branch 20 feet up with only the moon lighting my way.  But somehow I made it and now I've just been staring out.

I close my eyes and listen to the birds announce the new day.  The bird song is always the same, not a note different.  I like that.  This tree has always been my tree and I like it unchanging.  I sit in my tree enjoying the fresh sunlight on my face and smile.

I hear someone call out from below, so I look down.  Victor, the tall, broad mad waves his arms at me to get my attention.  "Hey Gerard!  You're wasting daylight, we have to rehearse," Victor says in his thick russian accent.

Instead of replying, I stand up on the branch, pushing off with my feet.  I flip in the air and land neatly on my feet.  Victor narrows his eyes at me. "Show off," he says jeeringly and walks toward the large tent.

I smile and follow him.  Victor is my best friend here at the circus.  We've been working together for ten years.  Victor, his wife Kaja and I make up the small acrobatics routine.  I head into the tent that houses an amphitheater of seats and our 3-ring stage.  We're rehearsing for an afternoon show, we don't need to, we all know the routine by heart.  We just need to make sure we're strong enough to do it.

I find Victor amongst the other acts rehearsing.  He's holding a set of juggling pins, waiting for me.  We don't do any juggling in the show, we just like to warm up with them.  When Victor sees me, he starts tossing me the pins and we start our juggling warm-up.

"There's been something I've been meaning to ask you since you came here," Victor always starts his questions like this, it's a tradition now.

"So there's something you've been meaning to ask me for 10 years?" I say half laughing.  Sometimes it's fun to give him a hard time.

He just gives me a derisive look and says, "Yes.  For ten years I've been wondering why you came here."

"I like it here," I know this doesn't really answer the question, but any other answer would be too long.

"What's not to like!" Victor laughs, he has a loud, throaty laugh.  More seriously he says, "You have a fancy college degree, you could make so much money, any kind of life you wanted."

"You can't actually do that much with a philosophy degree besides teach," I say trying to keep it light.

"Any kind of life," he stresses.

"I didn't want that kind of life.  All that moving around, everything changing, nothing constant.  There's no meaning to it," it's been a while since I've talked about this stuff, I don't know why it's always been hard, "It wasn't for me."

Victor senses I'm reluctant to really talk about it, so he just looks at me and shrugs.  After a pause, Victor furrows his brow and asks, "Can I ask a kind of personal question?"

"That last one wasn't?" I say, emphasizing the surprise in my voice.

Victor ignores this and continues, "You've been here for ten years and I've never seen you... with a girl or anyone, for that matter.  And you don't talk about anyone."

"What's your question," I wish he'd get to his point.

"Well, when was the last time you've been with someone?" Victor looks kind of guilty for asking and yet he's waiting for me to answer.