The Boy Of Fire And Ice

Chapter 2

There I was, my body lay paralyzed on the icy floor. My chest tightened beyond extent, making breathing impossible. My fingers knotted in my hair tugging with so much force to try and ease my emotional pain. I had learned when I was younger in math that a positive and negative would cancel each other out, maybe it worked for pain too. Drowning in my tears I gasp for air, but fail to receive anything. I have only felt this type of immense pain one other time in my life, and that was when my mother passed away 5 years ago.
             Nobody sees me as I lay here in the guidance office of my high school, people pass by not giving a single thought to my existence. I only know one method of coping with anxiety, which I learned when was 11, and that is to choose a color and find everything in the room with that color. I choose the color gold, that's my moms favorite.
         Quietly under my breath I start to name off everything gold in the room "the pen, the sign, the door handle, the lamp, my phone case, the picture frame...".
         The minutes feel like hours until my guidance counselor, Mrs. Marcy, is finally available. She comes out to find me in my state of complete and utter pain. My counselor, rushes me into her office and I try to calm myself down so that I am able to talk.
          Mrs. Marcy begins with "I am so sorry Phoenix I had no idea you were here, please tell me what has happened".
             My throat tightened at the thought of what I had to say "he left me" my voice cracked and I was trapped in the avalanche of tears that I had just summoned with the words.
          All she was able to do was grab my hand and say "I am so sorry phoenix, listen I know you feel like it was going to last forever and he was your one and only, but..." her words faded out as I concentrated on the picture of mountains she had hanging on the wall across from me. I stared at the picture for a long time not knowing why I was so drawn to it, this silhouette of ebony mountains with a lavender sky.
         I was well aware that she had been talking this whole time and still was, but I had come to a conclusion that I had only one thing to say. So I looked straight at mrs. marcy after a long time of being completely disconnected.
         She noticed my blank stare and her words slowed down and became more vague as she could tell I had something to say, but before she could stop I said in a calm manner "everyone leaves". My blank stare continued and she wasn't sure what to say, so once again she lifted her hand to mine and squeezed it tight and finally said "sometimes it seems so".    A few tears finally escaped and I couldn't tell whether I was feeling anger or despair at this point, I whispered "why does everyone leave me?".