The Boy Of Fire And Ice

Chapter 3

           The golden rays of morning sunshine leak in through the drapes and blanket me in warmth awakening me. A wave of nostalgia passes over me as I remember the feeling of waking up next to my mom in the mornings with the sunshine pouring in through the colossal hospital windows. She would give me a warm smile and look like an angel as she was surrounded by beautiful golden beams. I remember the sound of her voice and how she would say "good morning my little birdy". These memories are the things that help me keep her alive, but they are also what remind me that she isn't.
After I am done reminiscing I coax myself out of bed. It's always hella cold in my room so I throw on a cardigan that I found on the floor, which isn't rare in my room considering how many sweaters and cardigans I own. I do a quick little jog down the stairs and then I see my brother spencer in the kitchen making a bowl of cereal. I run up behind him and jump on his back "goooood morning you big brother you"I say in a cheerful tone. "get off me you little leech you" he says back playfully and shakes me off. He then grabs me by the hand and spins me around ballroom dance style then lifts me up so I can take a seat on the countertop.
Spencer stirs his cocoa pebbles and unknowingly asks "so how is Austin?". My stomach drops and I can feel the bile rising in my throat when i say "he broke up with me...". He drops his spoon into his cereal and immediately pulls me into a tight hug and I try my best to hold back the tears. "Oh my god eff, I had no idea" he says quickly out of concern. I lean into his tight hug, my favorite kind of hug. I love hugs especially the ones where you are both holding so tightly, so full of meaning and the other person doesn't let go until you do. I always hold on a bit longer after they let go because you never know how much that person really needs it.
When spencer finally lets go he sees the tears painted across my face, he then places both hands on either side of my face and gently wipes them away with his thumbs. Throughout all the love and care that my brother is giving me I am not paying attention. All I can think about is how he Called me eff. He hasn't called me that in a while and I know it wasn't because he didn't want to, but because he has been recovering.
Ever since mom died he has been distant and refuses to do anything remotely the same as what was done when she was here, which includes nicknames like: birdy, eff, effy... So on and so forth. My dad has been the same way as spencer for the longest time, in that daze, but that's what depression does. I think I am the only one that actually finds comfort in doing the things that mom did or that we used to do before she passed.
I had been thinking for a long time, failing to notice my blank stare until spencer was in my face . "Are you okay? Did I say something?" Spencer says worriedly. I finally came back to reality "nope I'm all good bubba" I say with a smile. He smiles back and helps me off the counter "I missed hearing that" he says while getting a huge spoonful of cereal. "I missed you calling me eff" I say while ruffling his hair. We both exchanged quick smiles, his smile small due to a mouthful of cereal."You look like a chipmunk" I giggle.
"Yeah? Well atleast I'm not named after one" he says referencing to me being named after a bird.
I actually like my name quite a lot, my mom gave me the name after the bird that regenerates by bursting into flames when it's ready to die and rises from the ashes. I put on an over exaggerated pout and he gives me a wide grin. "Run upstairs and get ready, I'll drive you to school with me today". I get overly excited and race towards the stairs, swinging myself around on the bannister. I hear him let out a quiet chuckle while I run up the stairs.