I'm a self employed entrepreneur who pays myself in empty promises and regrets
I destroy my only foundations hoping that my latest blueprints will make me stronger than the last
I build myself with mental illnesses and narcissism
I cover my exterior with skin and fake smiles
I am my own hard worker
Pushing myself to stay awake for days on end and trying to replace all my blood cells with alcohol and make my bones out of cigarette smoke
I take all the knives that were ever in my back and push them in further with the hopes that next time I will be harder to tear apart
I move my company around by tying it to a noose and bribing it with failed suicide attempts
I push safety pins into my brain trying to tell my mind that I am safe
That I cannot get hurt anymore
It never works and I am left constantly shaking in the dark because I don't know if i will hold together much longer
My voice begins to crack as my body falls into a million pieces
I become nothing but a dusty pile of rubble forced to pity
I need you to weep over mounds of broken truths
Because I don't know if I will ever build myself back up
