You're The Reason That I Speak.

Why Do People Always Leave? (Part 2)

I followed Joey as he started to walk through the main doors of the hospital, walking through the room where people were sat on metal chairs, some of them were laughing, others looked sad, some were even crying. it felt like with each step that we took another pair of eyes turned to look at us. I balled up the sleeves of my jumper and hugged my bunny closer to me. Some of the people gasped and others turned to the person sitting next to them and began to speak glancing back at us every now and then. Had I done something wrong?

We continued walking until we reached a wooden door, Joey opened it and behind it was a large room, its walls were light blue the ceiling had stars painted on it, I looked around there were lots of chairs, there were some toys as well, they didn't look like they would be fun to play with though, there was a big bean bag at the end of a row of chairs. I looked around a little more and eventually I came across a lady sat in one of the chairs, she was wearing a uniform, I'd seen some other people in the hospital wearing the same one. When she saw me look at her she gave me a smile, I tried to return it but I could get my face to form a smile, so I just looked down to the floor. Joey cleared his throat and knelt down next to me,

"Listen, Scott, this is Robbin" I followed where his arm was pointing, it was towards the lady in the uniform "I need you to be good for her okay? She is going to be looking after you for a little while okay?"

I stayed silent, giving a slight nod.

"I'll make sure that I try and come back later to see you okay?" He ruffled my hair a little and said bye. I watched Joey walk away. I was left with Robin. I stayed silent and glued to the same spot that Joey had left me in. I didn't like this, I was on my own, there was no one here that I trusted, I didn't have my mummy, I wanted my mummy. Robin went out of the room saying something about getting some new clothes. I was left alone in the room.

I took this opportunity to go over to the big bean bag. It was bright red, it was nearly the same coultdour as the puddle. I slowly sat down on it looking around the room once more before I turned on my side and began to look at the wall. I curled myself up into a ball, being as small as possible, hugging my bunny as tightly as I could. My eyes were fixed on a small spot on the wall. I could feel myself start to fall asleep, I didn't try and fight it. I let myself fall into a slumber.

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but I was woken up by Robin tapping me on the arm and saying my name, I looked up at her, she looked sad.

"Is my mummy better yet?" the first thing I said was something that made her eyes look sadder than before, I must have done something wrong

"Scott" her voice was quiet as she looked towards the ceiling a shaky sigh escaped her mouth

"your mummy she sh- we couldn't wake her up from her sleep, she's not going to wake up, i'm sorry." she looked down at me her eyes were my face. I don't understand. She sat down on the floor in front of me as I turned to look at the same spot on the wall.

"Scott? I know you may not want to but I've brought you some other clothes, the ones that you are wearing are dirty, can you change out of them, please? I didn't look at her I didn't answer her, I just kept looking at the wall. She was gone? She isn't going to wake up again? I let her fall asleep, Frankie told me not to, but I couldn't keep her awake.

Robin sighed and left the room, I didn't move, I didn't change, I stayed where I was until she came back this time with somebody else. It was a lady, she was wearing a long coat, she carried a black bag at her side. She bent down and began speaking to me, I could see out of the corner of my eye that she was talking but I couldn't hear a word that she was saying, I didn't answer, I didn't even respond by nodding or moving. I stayed still.

I don't know if Joey came back to see me because I was gone, the lady picked me up and carried me out to her car, she put on my seatbelt and then started to drive, I still had my bunny with me and he was sat on the seat next to me. As we pulled out of the hospital I was thought that I saw Joey getting out of a car, but he was wearing a shirt and trousers, he wasn't dressed in his green onesie. Maybe it wasn't him at all, but they had the same hair and kind face, I waved anyway, but he didn't see me.

We drove in the dark until light filled the sky around us, for the first time I was up before the sun, it wasn't long driving in the daylight until we arrived at a house. I saw that the lady was speaking to me again I turned to look her in the eye, I couldn't hear her. I focused all of my energy on trying to hear her,

"they are like you okay Scott; this is a home for children like you. The lady here is nice she will look after you I'm goi- "it all went silent again. I turned back towards the window. There was a lady standing on the steps by the front door, she smiled at me in the car, I didn't like her.

The car door was opened and I stayed still, I felt my seatbelt get unplugged and then someone picked me up, I grabbed for my bunny. I let the person stand me on the floor outside the car, stones dug into my feet, it hurt but I didn't mind it. I held my bunny by its ear again.

I was nudged forwards a little, so I began to walk not paying attention to why. The lady from the stairs was suddenly in front of me. She looked at me and then grabbed hold of my shoulder, she pulled me towards her, her nails dug into my shoulder, I didn't like it, I tried to get away from her grip but the more I tried the firmer her grip would get. I gave up and just stood next to her, her nails still digging into my shoulder.

I watched as the car that brought me here drove off, I watched as the car became smaller and smaller.

The lady from the stairs pulled me into the house, she pushed me away as we got in the door. I stood, helpless, in the entrance if the house the lady walked away, she went through a wooden door at the end of a corridor, slamming it behind her. I stayed there for a little while until an older girl came down the stairs, she came over to me and knelt down,

"Do you want me to show you to your room?" I stayed quiet

"Not a talker huh?" silence

"Come on, come with me it's okay" she smiled at me and held out her hand.

I looked at her face and slowly placed my free hand in hers, her smile grew a little bit, she stood up and slowly started to walk back up the stairs. We walked past so many white doors, some closed with no way of telling what was inside, others were open allowing you to see what the owners liked. We had nearly reached the end of the hallway when we stopped,

"This is your room okay?" she opened the white door that stood in front of us. It revealed a room that had all of the walls painted a light yellow, in places the paint was falling away from the wall. The room itself was quite small, all that was in there was a bed and an old looking chest,

"Are you going to be okay in there on your own?" I looked up at her, I shrugged my shoulders and walked in to the room. Was I going to be okay?

I went over to the bed and placed my bunny up by the pillows, just like she used to do when I woke up. The duvet cover that matched them was scratchy and plain, I liked my soft covers, the one that was blue and red and had cars and aeroplanes on it. As I walked down alongside the bed, I ran my hand down the side of the bed frame, the wood was rough, jagged and chipped, I liked my bed, I liked to feel the cold metal when it was hot weather. I walked over to the window near the corner of the room, all I could see when I looked out of it was the main road, that's all I could see, I miss my view of the forest and the playing field. I sat down on the floor, the girl came in and sat next to me. she started to speak to me, telling me different things, I couldn't listen to her very well.

I don't like it here, it smells funny.

I want my mummy.

I want my room.

I want my bed.

I want to go home.