You're The Reason That I Speak.

I Don't Deserve To.

This is the next part, it's still know the same place and the same time as the last part. I will however put a trigger warning here, I found it a little tough writing this, but I know that some people will find it hard to read. So I'm sorry if it affects you.

"You actually disgust me, you know that? You and your kind. Can't you even spend even a little time away from each other? it's horrible. No! It's wrong. I don't know what this world has been degraded to, it's being filled with freaks and people who have distorted minds. You know in history there was once a man, a great man in my opinion. A man who must have realised what was happening with the world. He realised it was the people who were different that were taking things from the people like me, people who were normal. I don't mean taking their personal belongings. I mean their places of work, their potential jobs, their money. The only difference between then and now is that then they had that man, the man in history who had the right ideas, he had the balls to go through with it and do the right thing. Do you know what he once said?"

I didn't like this, I think I have a pretty good idea who he is talking about. In fact, I think I know what vile and disgusting man he is talking about. But I can't speak, my voice has been stolen from me, by fear. I decided to shake my head, I don't know why I was being truthful, I didn't know what he once said, I also didn't want to know about what he just said, it's too late now.

He took another step towards me and I another one backwards, I slipped a little but managed to land safely on the second step.
"He said once that "Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live." So tell me, boy! Do you want to? Are you willing to fight in this world of eternal struggle?"

Once again I decided to shake my head, I can't believe I am being spoken to about something like this, why would anyone even want to speak about a man like that, as if he is some kind of hero? I made the wrong choice because he stepped closer again. I only had one step left now.

"Then, at the end of the day, you do not deserve to be here, you do not deserve to live, do you know that? it is quite a simple thing really, if you are more than able to fight for something but not willing, then you do not deserve to live and see the outcome." I didn't look up, I didn't move at all, my voice came back to let me say one thing.

"I know." I could see his feet, they moved closer to me again. Taking a step back, I slipped off of the edge, meaning I was on the bottom step now.

He took this opportunity to take another step towards me. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down a little bit, my back was pressing against the door of the bus now, I could feel the cold seeping through the sleeve of my blazer.

"What do you know, boy? Tell me!" I didn't speak, I didn't trust myself.
"Tell me, boy!" he shouted now, I jumped and tried to speak, I could feel tears forming in my eyes.
"I-I, I don't deserve to"
"Deserve to what? What don't you deserve?" I could almost hear a smirk in his voice, he was enjoying this?

"T-to live" was I whispering? I think I was whispering.
"Speak up, and look at me when I'm talking to you, who raised you, a complete idiot?" yep, definitely whispering. I raised my head slowly, I looked into his eyes, fighting back tears. His face was so close to mine, I didn't like it,
"Well, what don't you deserve?"
"I-I don't deserve to...live"
"pardon? "I don't deserve to live" what?"
"I don't deserve to live, sir?" I'm not sure why I made that a question because there is no questioning that it is a fact, I truly do not deserve to live here, in this world. I don't belong. I felt the tears escape from my eyes.

If you want to or need to talk to anyone then you can talk to me, just send a message. I know it may be a little odd, even if its to voice an opinion on what you think could happen next, I'll listen.
Also, I've been trying to make these updates smaller, but this does continue, would you want me to post it right away or have it on the same page maybe?
Okay, I'll leave now.