tRuTh - z.m.

10 - Olivia

March 27th, 2015

I laid there in my bed staring at the ceiling. I couldn't help but feel like disaster was looming just around the corner. Things were going unbelievably smooth. My grades were up, Trish had given me the apartment, I was saving money, and now I was hanging out with Zayn.

Zayn Malik. At one point in time my life centered around him and his music. I wanted nothing more than to lay under him and give him my everything. But I had to grow up. I had to get over my One Direction obsession and focus on a real life. Things got so unstable, I stopped listening to their music. I stopped listening to all music. I didn't have the time for anything I used to do.

When things finally did begin to get a little better, something terrible always came soon after, ripping away any and every positive aspect of my life.

Even though I was a complete different person then, that pattern never ceased. That's why I was so hesitant to really let myself believe and enjoy my time with Zayn. I could see us becoming good friends, but that was all I could allow to happen, because I knew it wouldn't last.

Besides I didn't know exactly how he felt about me, but I knew he enjoyed my company. He was the one who called me and took me out. He was the one who asked to spend time together. It was always him initiating contact.

I was trying my hardest to not push him away for the fear of having to lose him. Such an unbelievable and welcomed event like becoming friends with Zayn scared me. I knew it wasn't gonna last, just like everything else good in my life.

I need to talk to someone about it. As much as I had kept us a secret, it was time to indulge someone on how my wildest dreams were coming true right in front of me.

"Trish?" I said as soon as the phone stopped ringing.

"Bonjour, babe, where have you been? I've been ringing you constantly!" She said in her strong French accent.

"I know, I know, but I was so busy!"

"Busy what? Stalking that One Direction boy upstairs?" She joked, because she knew I wasn't like that anymore.

"Very fucking close. I've actually been spending time with one of them." I stayed silent, waiting for her reaction.

"What? Spending time, as in... well what exactly? And who?"

"I met Zayn in the elevator one morning,"

"That's your favorite, Livvy! I know you've been wishing to run into him and it finally happened. How the hell did that happen?"

"Well I know you've heard by now, but Zayn left One Direction and the morning he was on the way to tell the boys, I saw him in the elevator and he just..." I wanted to tell her everything, but I know something like Zayn telling me before his band mates would be a headline if anyone found out and it'd make him look bad. And it'd reflect poorly on me because I had told someone. So I kept my mouth shut. "He took some pictures with me and we just bonded after that."

"Wow, he must have really liked you. That's weird, no famous person just befriends a fan like that. He probably likes you, Olivia. You're the most oblivious and naive girl I know, so I know there's something you're missing." She said as she audibly sipped on something.

"I can be oblivious, I know, but there's no way ever, Zayn would see something in me. I think he just appreciates me keeping the secret, so he's repaying me by spending time with me." I said.

"What secret?"

Fuck, I thought. "Trish, you know I love you, but I cannot give the world this one. It's the only thing holding Zayn to me. But if it makes you feel any better, he asked me about what you do and I didn't tell him."

She was silent for a while. "Thank you, and I can respect that. So what do you plan to do when the world does know this secret? What will hold you two together after that?"

"I don't know, but after actually getting to know him I know l don't wanna lose him. I wanna be something to him. Something more than a fan,"

"Maybe you already have. Take a step back and look at it. Who asked who to hang out? It had to be him because you're shy as hell,"

"He said if I kept the secret he'd come back and take me to lunch and he did, two weeks later."

"Wow he actually kept his word." She seemed shocked, but not as shocked as I was.

"Trish, I swear I never expected him to come back. I never even expected to ever see him again in person. Now we hangout, we're making plans, we're calling and texting. It's crazy,"

"What's so crazy about it? You're an amazing person. People like you are hard to come by. Other people crave being around people like you. You shed light on every bad situation. Your advice is other worldly and you always know what to say." She sighed. "That's why I do what I do for you. If I love you, I know he can't get enough. At the end of the day, you need to remember he's just a normal guy with normal feelings and emotions."

¤

When five o'clock rolled around I began getting dressed. Zayn told me he'd be here around seven to come get me. I had time, but at the same time I didn't. I'd spent so much time talk to Trish, I'd worked my nerve back down as I sat there considering the fact that there may be something more between Zayn and I.

I was finally pulling my dress up my legs after having beat my face for a whole hour. All I had to do was slip my shoes on I'd be ready. I was done a little early, but it wasn't long before Zayn called. I squealed a little, then I answered.

"Hey,"

"Hey, I know you're probably not ready, but can I come over? I need your help picking a tie."

"Yeah come on," I said, trying my hardest to keep it cool.

"Okay, I'm actually getting off of the lift now."

"Oh- okay," I left my room and went to the front door to let him in. He was standing there holding there different gold-toned ties in his hand. The top buttons of his shirt were open, showing his tattoos just a little.

"I would've called first but it's almost time to go anyway." He shrugged.

"No, it's okay." I stepped aside to let him in. Once he stepped in, I shut the door and turned to look at him. "Oh my god, Zayn. That suit looks so good on you. So good," I usually wasn't one to outright compliment someone. My shyness kept me from doing so, but I'd never seen him look better.

"You look even better," he grinned. "We're gonna look so good together tonight." He looked me up and down. "No shoes?"

"We still have almost an hour and those shoes aren't the most comfortable." I chuckled. "So, about this tie thing,"

"Oh yeah," he held them out for me to take. "I wanted to see which one matched your dress the best."

I took the ties and held them up to my dress. "The one in the middle seems to match best." I said as I handed it to him. "But you know what," I stepped forward and began adjusting his shirt. "You should just leave it open. It compliments your tattoos."

I looked up at him, when I finished and he was just gazing at me. He moved his hands slowly up before taking mine into his.

"If you think it looks good, I think it looks good too. Everything that comes out of your mouth is truth to me. I knew that since the first day we met." He broke his gaze, but only to look down at our hands, then back up at me. "You mean so much to me, already. I just wanted you to know that."