Life As I Knew It (Book 3)

Friend

                  It was hard to compare what I was going through to what the other kids in the group have experienced. Everyone was hurt in different ways and it was impossible to say who had it worse. I wanted to believe that it was me but that was me being bias. I was hurt more emotionally than physically. It also didn't help that I was kidnapped twice. Ryan began to speak which snapped me out of my self-pity.

               "I'll address Sarah first. There are horrible people out there and what happened to you was sick and twisted but he is locked away forever and can never hurt you again. Never feel bad about not fighting because if someone is threatening to kill you, you do what you can to survive. And Zack, as I have told you several times, there was absolutely nothing you could have done to save Jen. Don't hate yourself because you did what you had to so you wouldn't die and Jen wouldn't get hurt at the time. There is no way you could have stopped what happened." Ryan said, looking at each person when he talked.

             I wanted to laugh at the part where he said that Sarah's kidnapper was locked away forever because that's what I thought about Kyle until he escaped. This time around, he was never caught by the police. Who even knows where Kyle is at right now. I didn't laugh for obvious reasons, I wasn't insensitive. For some reason, I was being bold enough to ask a question that I actually wanted to hear Ryan's answer too.

          "So what if your kidnapper isn't locked away forever?" I asked him.

             His eyes widened and I wasn't sure if he was shocked that I decided to speak or by the content of my question. The other kids stared at me with speechless expressions on their faces. Where all of their kidnappers in prison? Surely, I couldn't be the only one. It made me nervous that everyone was staring at me so I turned my attention back to Ryan.

            "Is your kidnapper not in jail?" He asked, a softness in his eyes.

            "Don't change the subject back onto me." I snapped, even though I knew he'd asked that question.

             "Well, I'd say that you have to have faith that the police will find your kidnapper and that they will keep you safe." He said hesitantly, choosing his words carefully.

              A chuckle escaped my throat, causing Ryan to raise his eyebrows, wondering what could possibly be funny at this moment. The thought of the police finding Kyle was comical. He was the master of staying hidden and tricking the police, he'd done it for years. He'd only gotten caught before because of stupid mistakes. With every mistake, he got smarter and smarter. He wouldn't make the same mistakes again. The likelihood of the police finding Kyle was slim, especially because he didn't have me anymore. It was easier to hide. The police couldn't keep me completely safe either. You saw what happened last time the police were supposed to protect me.

           "The police can't find someone who doesn't want to be found." I replied.

           "Lots of people don't want to be found but they are found anyway." He said.

            "Not the person I'm talking about." I said, not making eye contact with anyone but Ryan.

            "If you'd like to talk to us, we're all ears. I'm sure one of us can relate to you." He said, hopeful that I would end up talking.

             Tears filled my eyes as anger and fear took over. I didn't want to share my story, nor should I be pressured into it. It was only a few months ago when I watched Maddie get murdered. Only a few months since I nearly died. Only a few months since I last saw Kyle. A wave of nausea hit me, making me sick to my stomach. All I wanted to do was cry.