\\Connor//

Weekends

Connor and I were back in the cave. It was peaceful. It was nice staring at the water, thinking about life. Granted, deep thinking gave me loads of anxiety, but I was thinking about how Connor came over that first day and how he's changed my life. I was fine before he came along, but I never stopped to appreciate tiny things about life. The ocean used to be just an ocean. Now it's a blanket of waves. He was a dream.

"Tell me now," I demanded. Connor and I had been sitting in silence for the past 15 minutes eating ice cream. He looked at me with humor in his eyes. He said that he had another doctor's appointment to go to later that same day, so we were hanging out before he had to leave.

"I can't," he said knowing exactly what I was referring to. "I want you to know me before I tell you the whole story."

"I do know you! I know you very well now. I deserve to know, Connor," I whined. "I want to know you more."

He laughed, and took a bite of his cookies and cream ice cream cone. He shook his head and gazed at me. I returned his gaze. He was beautiful. I hated him for it. His eyes were a numbing green. If I stared at them longer than a minute I couldn't feel any pain. Even his eyebrows, I know it's weird, but even his eyebrows fit his face perfectly. His face was heart shaped, his chin was sharp. He looked like a cartoon character I would have fallen in love with when I was 13. The thing about that is he's a human being that I'm in love with at 16.

"Prove you know me as well as you think I do," Connor suggested.

"How?"

"I don't know. Tell me about myself."

"Your name is Connor Wayne Sampson, you're favorite flavor of ice cream is cookies and cream, you hate reading because your mother forced you to read all the time when you were younger, your first pet was a hamster named Henry. Tell me now," I said. He raised an eyebrow. "Oh! And for whatever reason your favorite word is audacity. I know that because you say it all the time."

"That's impressive. I'll tell you later," he declared. I was furious.

"Why?!"

"Because I'm falling ridiculously in love with you, and that means I might never tell you. Even then, trust me, you would figure it out." My breathing hitched and I almost choked on my saliva.

"You like me, I like you. Answer a few questions for me then," I started, "Why aren't we dating?"

"I would drag you down the rabbit hole with me," he said chomping on his ice cream.

"Why are you still keeping secrets from me?"

"I'm protecting you."

His face was calm as he spoke, and I could tell he was as serious as he could get. I didn't understand him. I didn't understand who he was, and maybe that's why he wouldn't tell me. I knew I could handle it.
-

Connor dropped me off at my house, gave me a hug and kissed my cheek, and then took off to his doctor. I had my suspicions. I didn't want to say them out loud because I was worried I would jinx myself. What if Connor had cancer? Or what if he had an STI? I wouldn't care. I still want him. After hearing that he's falling in love with me, I realized I was crazy in love with him. I loved him a lot. I loved him so much that I hated it.

"Connor couldn't come in?" my mother asked me. I shook my head. "You like that boy."

"What?" I nearly screeched. "He's okay. He's fun to be around."

"The time that you spend away from him, you spend sighing. That's a sign of love. You miss him."

I sighed, and she poked my nose.

"What did I say?" she joked. I smiled. My mom knew me better than anyone else, except for Connor.

I went to my room and saw that my phone was lit up. I hoped it was from Connor and it was.

"Today was fun, are you down to hang out tomorrow?"

I replied back saying, "Of course, Sampson. Just let me know what time."

I fell asleep and dreamt of Mr. Sampson.