My Social Anxiety

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So today's upload is more of a personal upload so please don't leave any hate.

So I found out that I have something called social anxiety which is a persistent and overwhelming fear of social situations. It's one of the most common anxiety disorders. I found this out about a year ago.

It means that I constantly think people are judging me and simple things like getting up to the bin to throw something away for me is a challenge because I over think every single detail.

I also assume that if I can hear people laughing its about me.

When I used to take languages people used to pick me to answer the questions but for me it feels like the whole world is judging me for not knowing and even if I do I think its wrong. I never put my hand up. I pull out of doing things because I'm scared i'll mess up or trip over and everyone will laugh.

It makes me feel ill because I panic if I get in trouble and i'll freeze if I get told off for something.

I can't do presentations because unlike most people I panic before, after and during. I get scared of performing and I feel myself getting nervous because everyone's looking at me and I don't like the attention.

I can't take people being in my face.

I can't order at a resturant because i'm scared to mess up with everyone staring.

When I sit on my phone it doesn't mean I'm ignoring you its the way I cope. So if you see me on my phone even if i'm in a conversation with people, don't tell me i'm being rude because its just the way I cope.

I just wanted to post this so people will understand that people aren't rude or faking it its real and we have to live with it so stop making it harder for us. This isn't even a quatre of what its like so don't judge us.

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Sorry if this is not your thing normal upload back tommorow.

Bye

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