A Word of Encouragement for the Broken

A letter from someone who knows

The blades that we drag across our skin don't hurt, not nearly as bad as the ones that others drive through our backs. As the blood come out, the memories disappear, but when the bleeding stops on the outside, it begins again on the inside. As we turn to the people we care for the most, they walk away. And when we end the misery they put us through, they cry fake tears. 

I'll cry tears for you. Real ones. Tears of blood, tears of sorrow, tears of one who knows and understands. As you cry your tears of betrayal that were given to you by your dearest friends, I will cry my tears of hatred for the one who has put an end to your trust. As you drag the blade across your wrist, I'll drag one cutting deeper into theirs. 

I know how it feels to be betrayed. I know how it feels to put every ounce of trust you have in someone only to be stabbed in the back. I've felt heartbreak. I've had my nightmares come true. The worst part is that you can be completely falling apart, you can be totally shattered, and nobody notices, nobody cares. You wake up every morning and you put on a mask, a fake smile. You sit in the corner, you stay on the outside, or you laugh like the others, not a real laugh, but a superficial one. 

Why? Why doesn't anyone care enough to notice the pain in your eyes? Why does nobody hear your screams at night? Why don't they cry with you? Why can't they notice your silent agony? Why is it that the only time they show any sympathy is when your pain kills you? But even then the rumors spread. They don't leave you alone even in death. 

Don't worry about them though. No matter what they say, I'll always care about you. I'll cry enough tears to wash out your pain. I know it's hard, but don't lose faith. I love you. I truly do. Even if nobody else does, I'll talk to you. I won't betray you. Believe me. I love you with all my heart. 

                                           ~Teresa Terlisner