I'm Sorry, Stefan

Chapter 6

Stefan sat, waiting, checking his watch every minute or so, wiling the time to moving faster. But also, a part of him wished one o’clock would never come. He stared out his front door, worrying, looking into the thick trees of the forest. He still couldn’t leave; he didn’t want to be there ridiculously early. He didn’t even know if Darcie was going to show up. He would go anyways, but he would be on time. He didn’t want to seem over eager.

He tapped his foot nervously; the seemingly loud tapping the only noise in the room. His parents were out, helping Maya’s family unload her stuff from the house. Stefan had refused to come, for more than one reason. He had told his parents that he was meeting a friend, but even if he hadn’t been meeting with Darcie, he would have refused to come. He didn’t think he could take that right now.

Eventually, he didn’t think he could wait any longer. But he forced himself to put on his shoes slowly, taking his time choosing what jacket to wear.  He picked out his soccer jacket; they had given them to all the members of his team. It even had his number on the back. After quickly checking his hair, he hopped on bike, and rode down to Maya’s school.

There were two private schools in the town. One was a girl’s school specifically for the super smart girls. There was also a boy’s school, a couple blocks away that specialized in sports. Maya, Kitty, and apparently Darcie had all gone to the girl’s school, which is where he was headed to now.

It was a pretty building, with lots of tall glass windows, and a calming beige color for the outside walls, there were gardens, and a stylized sign out front with welcoming Stefan to the campus. He rode his bike into the pristine and empty parking lot, locked it to one of the strangely clean bike racks, and headed to the back of the school.

She was waiting for him there, leanly calming against the back wall, bopping her head to some music that Stefan couldn’t hear. As he walked up, nervously shoving his hands in his pockets, she pulled her headphones out, and gave him half a grin. He tried to smile back, but it came out more like a grimace. He didn’t know what he was so nervous. She nodded at him understandingly.

“Hey,” she said, tucking her i-pod back into her pocket. She was dressed in a loose red tee-shirt, jeans, and a fedora.

“Hi,” he said, coming to lean next to her on the back wall. There was an uncomfortable silence. He turned to look at her; she was staring off into space. “So…” he prompted her. She turned to look at her. She bit her lip.

“I don’t exactly know where to start…” she said, looking uncomfortable. Stefan waited, silent. She sighed. “Well…, she said it started with the bullying.” Darcie began.

“Wait!”  Said Stefan, interrupting her. “When did Maya tell you all of this? Start there.”

“She was talking to me the morning of the day she killed herself. She spilled it all, she cried for almost an hour. She told me everything. It took the whole morning for her to get it all out. Eventually, she calmed down, apologized, and left.”

“Apologized for what?” asked Stefan.

“I’ll never know.” Answered Darcie simply. “I let her leave, I was confused and scared. The whole day I couldn’t stop worrying, I kept trying to convince myself that she wasn’t serious… she couldn’t have actually wanted to kill herself. I would talk to her tomorrow, when she had come to her senses. By the end of the day I just about had myself convinced that she would be all right. Then her parents called.” The grief was obvious in her voice, her expression was sad, her eyes full of pain. Stefan felt a stab of pity .He hadn’t been the only one hurt over her death.

“I’m sorry,” he said to her.

“Don’t be,” she told him. “I’m okay.” She said quietly. “Is there anything else you need to know?” she asked him.