I'm Sorry, Stefan

Chapter 15

His excitement grew as Stefan neared his house, and he pedaled faster, pushing his bike to make it there quicker. He flew through the streets, dodging dangerously around cars and pedestrians. He made it back to his house in record time. He walked in the back gate, tossing his bike on the grass of his backyard. He walked over to the backdoor, typed in his entry code, and walked in.

Luckily, his parents weren’t home, they were both at work, so they didn’t have any idea what he was doing, and he wouldn’t have to make up any excuses. He kept his shoes on; he wasn’t going to be home for very long.

He walked through the house, wondering how obsessive he should get with this. He wanted it to be perfect. He only wanted to do this once. Eventually, he went to his room, and found a cheap, pink pencil, with little hearts and weird looking cupids stamping on the plastic shell. It was one of those Valentine’s Day pencils that you got from your classmates in grade two. But this one was special. It was the only one that he had bothered to keep. It was from Maya.

He sharpened it carefully, so it was perfectly sharp. He checked the eraser to make sure it still worked, and then slipped the pencil carefully into the pocket of his coat. Step one, check, he thought. Time for step two. Stefan headed back downstairs.

He slipped into his mother’s study, where she did her work. He walked over to her shelf, and admired the different kinds of paper that she had. He considered the patterned one, the one with the flowery border, and may different colors and patterns. In the end, he chose the plain white. It seemed the most appropriate. With careful precision, he folded the paper into perfect thirds. Then, after a little bit of searching, he found his mother’s pile of envelopes. He found one that was the right size, and tucked it, and the paper, into his pocket with the pencil. He was ready.

He turned off all the lights, and locked the back door as he left the house. He lifted his bike off the ground, and walked it out of his yard. He shut the gate, jumped on his bike, and rode off. He rode carefully, slower than he usually would have; making sure that his precious cargo didn’t fall out of his pocket.

It was a very short bike ride, leaving him no time to stop, and no time to think about what he was doing. Maybe it was a stupid idea, maybe it wasn’t, but he felt like he needed to do it anyways. He needed a way to say goodbye.

He arrived at the edge of the forest, and stared into the trees. He had been here just yesterday, although he had felt completely different. Yesterday, he had been lost in grief and memories. Today, he was full of anticipation, anticipation for being able to let go.

He leaned his bike against a tree, not bothering to lock it up. He walked into the forest, but took a different path than usual. Every other time he had walked through the forest, with Maya or without, he had always gone to their tree. That was a meeting point, a sanctuary. But that wasn’t his destination today. He walked further into the forest, away from the tree, but towards the river.

He walked to the place where the river got deep, where the water was dark and dangerous. Where the current was fast and the sound of rushing water filled your ears. Where he had cried his eyes out just one day before. Where Maya had jumped, and lost her life. That’s where he walked. It didn’t take him long to get there.

When he did, he went to the edge of the river and knelt, just like he had done yesterday. But today, he knelt by a mostly clean, dry rock, big enough to lay his paper on. It was perfect.

With shaking finger, he pulled out the pencil first, and admired it for a second. It really was ugly. In fact, it was hideous. Half of the cupids were missing their faces and the plastic was peeling off the reveal the wooden pencil underneath. But it was sharp, and it had been hers.

Next, the envelope. He set it down on the rock, lifted the pencil, and wrote in his neatest writing possible, Maya. Just like she had done with his letter. After he was finished, he put the envelope back into his pocket, where it was safe. He wouldn’t need it again until later. Then, he pulled out the paper.

He carefully unfolded it, flattening it on the rock. He had chosen white because he thought the other colors were too gaudy. Too happy. White was perfect, and plain, and all he needed. He picked up the pencil. His hand was shaking. He bit his lip, took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He waited, breathing out any tension that he had. The he opened his eyes and began to write, the words flowing from his fingers without him even needing to think about them.

Before he knew it, it was done. He stared at the words he had written, pleased. He almost tried to memorize them, and then decided against it. He didn’t want to have to think back again. He didn’t want to remember.

Very carefully, he refolded the paper, hiding his words from view. He slipped the letter in  the envelope, and sealed it. He tucked the pencil back into his pocket, and stood. His face broke into a wide smile, as he stared at the finished product. He turned to face the river. He walked over so that he was standing at the very edge, one inch from the icy water. With a sudden movement, he hurled the envelope into the centre of the icy current, where it landed with almost no splash in the very centre of the river.

He watched it float downstream, and odd white speck on the black water. He watched it until it disappeared from his view, and even after it was gone, he stared into the water. Then, just as suddenly, Stefan turned and walked away from the river. He didn’t look back. He walked through the forest, his happiness growing with each step.

The weight that had been gripping his heart relaxed. He felt light, and free, and truthfully happy for the first time in weeks. he let himself forget. He let himself let go. As he walked up to bike, he turned back the forest, staring into trees.

I’m sorry too, Maya. He thought. I really am. The he jumped on bike and rode off; back home, thinking that maybe he would call Darcie. He never went back to the forest.

The envelope floated down the river, it words smudged by the icy water. It drifted through the forest, somehow managing to keep afloat. It twisted and turned through the current, the edges beginning to fall apart. Eventually, deep into the heart of the forest, in slipped beneath the surface, deep into the bottom of the river, quickly lost in the black waves.  

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Oh my gosh! One chapter away from finishing my second story!!! :D I hope you guys liked this one. The final chapter will be coming tomorrow. J Please comment, vote, and fan if you liked it! And please point out any mistakes that you see. Thanks!!

-purplecat