Painted Black *punk niall horan

Chapter 17

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I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

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I was awoken by the sound of whispering. I kept still, with my eyes still closed. 

"Have you heard from Zayn?" A voice that sounded like James asked. I felt a sharp pang at the sound of his name.

"Nah, he's pretty shaken up. Wouldn't be the first time either." A voice that definitely belonged to Louis replied. 

James laughed bitterly.

"Yah, I thought Niall had learned his lesson last year with Sarah." 

I scrunched up my eyebrows. What? Who was Sarah? 

"Hey, I think she's awake. Gene?" I slowly opened my eyes to find James and Louis peering down at me. 

"Hi." I stated. 

"How ya feeling love?" Louis asked. 

I groaned.

"Horrible. And hungry." I slowly lifted myself off the ground.

"We have breakfast!" James added. 

I followed them into the kitchen. My eyes falling on Niall who was sitting at the table, his head in his hands. He looked up when I entered. 

"Can I talk to you?" Niall asked. 

I debated whether or not I wanted to deal with him this early, but finally gave in. I nodded and followed him to his room. He closed the door behind him. We sat side by side on the bed for a while in silence. 

"Zayn was never right for you." He finally said. I turned and glared at him.

"And you are?"

"I'm perfect for you." He said, totally serious. 

"We could never work, Niall. Don't you understand?" 

"But why? Why can't you even try?" His eyes burned into me and I shivered slightly. 

"I am. I am trying."

We both knew I wasn't. 

"When you kissed Zayn, I.....I don't know......it hurt, Gene. Like I felt it in my chest." He pulled his lip ring into his teeth and looked down. "All I know, is I just don't ever want to feel that way again." 

I looked over and he leaned in. I felt his cool breath on my face.

"Who's Sarah?" I whispered. He froze before withdrawing. 

"Who told you about her?" He asked harshly. 

"No one. I just overheard someone say it, but it doesn't matter. Tell me Niall." I lightly touched his arm, but he pulled away.

"I....I can't." 

"Fine. Then, I can't either." I stood up.

"No! Wait!" He called out suddenly. 

I waited. 

"Sarah was this girl Zayn liked. Or loved. He loved her. And they were dating. Last year." His sentences came out in short quick breaths, as if he was afraid he didn't have enough time. "One day, I saw her. And I......I wanted her."