Skinny*ON HOLD*

Chapter 1

A/N

Okay so this book isn't as descriptive about whats going on in the room as all my other books because Cara is talking to her therapist about her anorexia. I wanted to take a different approach and do a looking back book, but near the end, it becomes a happening now if you know what I mean. Anyways I hope you enjoy:)

-Morgan Jay

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"There was a point where I was happy. I had friends who loved me for me, my family was supportive of me, and I didn't really care about my weight, as long as I was happy." I say to Sarah, my therapist.

"So, you were happy when you were at 135 pounds. What happened to that?" Sarah asks.

"This guy Corbin came into my life."

"Tell me about Corbin." She demands.

"Okay. Well, it was freshman year when I first saw him. He was talking to one of my old friends, Ryan. I asked Ryan who he was and he told me 'Corbin Teletzke, why do you want to know?' 'He's cute.' I told him. Ryan told me to talk to Corbin, but I was scared. Well freshman year I didn't talk to him even though I had plenty of chances.

"Sophomore rolls around and Ryan introduced me to Corbin and told me to ask him to homecoming, so I did. Corbin said no. I really didn't mind because my friends and I were going a one huge group and we didn't want dates to get in the way of us having fun. Turns out Corbin didn't want to go with me because I was fat."

"You took this to heart, didn't you?" Sarah asks.

"Yeah. Everyone always told me that I had the perfect body; not too fat and not too skinny, perfect. I was curvy and happy."

"Well what happened? I mean, you said you were happy with your size, but now, at 90 pounds, you're not. I don't understand." Sarah asks.

"For some reason I just took what he said to heart. I stood in the mirror that night and pulled on my stomach and thighs. There was so much extra fat and skin that didn't need to be there. I actually felt disgusted with myself, so I went for a run." I explain to her.

"And that one run turned into fasting and purging?" She asks.

"No. I started working out everyday to lose some weight, but I wasn't losing it fast enough. Well, I did lose 4 pounds in the first week and I was happy with that, but-" I cut myself off.

"But what?" She asks.

"Nothing." I say.

"Cara, you need to tell me, it's the only way I can help you get better." She says.

"Maybe I don't want to get better." I say, changing the subject.

"If you don't want to get better, then why are you here?"

"Good question. That's a very good question that I don't know the answer to." I say.

Sarah takes a deep breath,  "Okay, well what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stop asking me so many questions." I say.

"If I don't ask questions, then I won't be able to help you." Sarah says.

"You said that already." I say. "But who says I want help?"

"You do."

"When did I say that?" I ask.

"When you walked through my door."

"I don't remember saying 'I want help.'"

"You may not have said it, but when you walked through that door, that means that you want help, or else you wouldn't be here." Sarah says.

"Good point."

"So why'd you come here if you don't want help?"

"Because sometimes you just need someone to talk to." I reply.

"Yes, that is true, but if you don't want help but want someone to talk to, then talk to a friend or a family member."

"Oh no." I say. "I don't have any friends, and my family would just send me to you. Or to a hospital."

"You are in a hospital."

"Yes, to talk to you, not to be checked in here to stay until I get better."

Sarah nods her head at me.

"Can I tell you a story?" I ask.

"Depends."

"On what?"

"If the story will explain why you are here other than to talk." Sarah says.

"Oh, well then, never mind." I say.

"Look, Cara, not to be mean or anything, but you're wasting my time. I have other things to do today and well, you're making me fall behind." Sarah says.

"Okay, I understand." I say while standing up. "Can I make an appointment with you again tomorrow?" I ask.

"Why? You don't want help."

"Yes, but I like you. You listen."

"I'll let you make an appointment, if you tell me why you came here today." She challenges.

"How about I tell you tomorrow when I have an answer." I say. "I'll be here and 1." I add before leaving her office.

"Okay. I'll be waiting. Oh and prepare yourself for more questions." She shouts to me.

I walk back into her office, "I'll answer all of your questions, if I can tell you my story tomorrow."

"Deal." She says.

"Deal." I repeat.

"Hey, Cara. What is the story about?"

"Two Aztec lovers who get transformed into volcanos." I reply.

Sarah nods her head at me. I smile then walk out the door.

"Two Aztec lovers." I hear her repeat as I leave. Yes, two Aztec lovers.