I just want to say Thank you God for giving me everything I've ever had, I've held on to it for a long time now it's time to let it go.
when I perform dis deadly sin I hope everyone can forgive me and understand why I did it.
I did it because I've been depressed lately and I held on to all of my problems that every crossed my path that the pressure built up and I just couldn't go Another day,
To all the bullies the ones that liked to see me mad and cry
WHY DO U LIKE TO SEE ME SO MAD AND MAKE ME CRY I KNOW U DONT CARE SO JUST STOP PRETENDING YOU CARE I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND IF U DONT LIKE ME JUST AVOID ME WHY DO U HATE ME YOU DONT KNOW ME OR MY FULL LIFE STORY OR WHAT IVE BEEN GOING THROUGH LATELY OR ANY OF THE PROBLEMS I HAVE TO FACE SO WHY TRY TO MAKE ME MISERABLE SO IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT YOUVE BEEN WAITING FOR AND I HOPE THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
when I go just remember me as
The girl who lay in her bed and think of everything she fuc**d up on in her life
The girl who
Hid all her sad feelings
She hid it all behind a smile
A smile that everyone believed
A smile that told everyone she was happy
Little did they know
That she crys at night
Telling herself things
No one should ever say
She dropped her smile
And told herself
"I can't do this anymore"
"I give up"
A girl who
Hate herself more and more
Every day
Can't stand looking in
The mirror
Can't stand hearing
The sound of her voice
Her hatred is
Consuming her
Every thought
She wants to love
Herself again
A girl who
Is hurt
She wants to be gone
She can't deal with the pain
She can't go on
She wants to give up
She wants to give in
She wants to be happy
But never is in the end
She judges herself
Others judge herself too
Do you know what it feels like
To be trapped in your own mind
To hate yourself more then you can imagine
To have nobody care
To feel alone
To feel empty
To not want anything to do with the world
To have your whole family hate you
To cut yourself just to remember you still feel
To have suicidal thoughts
To cry yourself to sleep
To just want to shut off from the world
To just want to end it all
To care about someone only to get hurt in the end
To rise only to fall
To fu*k everything up
To live with so many regrets
To ruin everything
To take all the blame
To feel so low
To feel depressed
Do you know what it feels like
Because I do and I hate it
I didn't need you to fix me I needed you to love me while I fixed myself
But before I take this last step all I want to know is why, why do you hate me what did I ever do for you to hate me?
YOU ARE READING
Nya's Diary
Non-FictionThis is about a 14 year old girl named Nya who thinks she going through a hard time so she writes it out. If u understand some of the stuff she's going through Comment or vote please and most of this stuff IS true keep in mind