How to write a good/better story + tips

Scene's, speech and emotion

You walk into a school hallway, what’s it like? These are the small things that go from making a story not that good, to average (just on its own). Or average to great.

I’m sure you’ve read a story where the person walks into school and that all they’ve got.

Is it loud? Are people shouting? Are people talking? Maybe it’s completely deserted. But we don’t know unless you tell/show us.

Don’t go into a long description of what’s happening, it should be 4 sentences at the most.

Example of a good description:

Kylie was overwhelmed by the sound of talking the second she walked into the school hallway. People were dodging back and forth, laughing and yelling, girls giggled about what they’re wearing to prom, guys dared each other to ask everyone else out. Kylie jerks to a halt as a football flies past her head. “Sorry!” A guy calls, grabs the ball out of the air then disappears within the sea of rowdy student. 

Quick, simple, easy. It’s already set the scene, you know people are in high spirits, and hey, proms coming up. Better get you're dresses! and Dates...

When I say speech, I don’t just mean what people.

Firstly, do you feel like saying ‘shut the hell up’ to people in stories sometimes?

Let’s go over that first, don’t try to go over the top to show someone’s scared. You can do that by saying things like ‘I was scared, petrified’

Example of ‘shut the hell up’:

“Help! Oh, please help. Don’t hurt me, please, I’m begging. HELP! I’ll do anything you want, just don’t hurt me. Please, please, don’t hurt me. Oh, please, god help me” Rachel cries, struggling in her restraints. “Please, someone help me!!! Please don’t hurt me. You’re scaring me, please, please, please stop”

Right now, I’m completely annoyed at myself for writing something that makes me want to punch the screen.

Example of a good ‘I’m scared’:

I couldn’t help shaking; fear had taken hold of me. I was stuck, tied to chair; a man looming over me, a knife in his hand and a cold smile on his face. “Please….please don’t hurt me” I whisper. I couldn’t help myself, ice was rushing through my blood and my heart was trying to beat out of my chest. “I won’t tell anyone” I bite my lip, trying to stop the sob from escaping. It didn’t work. 

That is something I would write. It doesn’t make me want to roll my eyes-much.

Also with speech the most common word people use is said, say etc. it’s used 9 times out of ten. So try and mix it up. Use words like exclaim, whispers, asks, questions, voices, blurts, mummers, grumbles, hisses, growls, cheers, hollars or mumbles.

There are so many words to choose from. This also casts what the persons feeling into how they say it.

Example:

“He told me he likes me,” Jasmine growls.

Apposed to:

“He told me he likes me,” Jasmine squeals. 

I changed one word and already you get a feeling of how she said it. That one word also ties into emotions. To build up the sentence, you would put in an emotion. Such as happy, sad, angry, distastefully.

Use a thesaurus, it helps to bring in a new words.

Example:

“Something’s not right,” Heather whispers fearfully.

Or

“Something’s not right,” Heather whispers uneasily.

There’s heaps or words to choose from. Next is going deeper into emotions. If someone breaks up with her boyfriend. How do they feel? Sad? Happy? Describe the feeling, so people who have never had a beak up know what it’s like. Explain how she feels sick, how the world seems to be crushing her, how she feels completely lost with no one to guide her.

Example:

Darcy turns away from Trent, sad she had to break up with him. 

Boring

2nd Example:

Darcy turns away from Trent, her heart squeezing painfully in her chest. Taking a deep breath she forces her jelly like legs to move. She felt hollow, but at the same time like she was only filled with grief, tears threatened and the pain seemed to grow, constricting her, slowly killing her as it became stronger, and she became weaker. 

I feel it, I feel how she’s feeling even though you’re probably thinking ‘that was crap!’

Whatever, I don’t need you! I'm kidding, do need you! Love me! X3

Next chapters:  5 senses