Loneliness.
This is the only emotion that engulfs all my senses, fear always swarming my head. I am scared. Every day I can feel my powers getting stronger and so does the urge to escape. Looking out the window is now one of my constant routines, urging to be closer to the outside but the window is the only connection I have to the outside world. I kneel on my window ledge looking out of my window, holding on to the ledge as I lean closer to the outside world, craving to be outside. For now even though I know I can't go outside I feel content just sitting by the big window staring out into the outside world and indulging myself in the beauty of the winter season, the fluttering of the snowflakes as they elegantly fall to the ground, which has been covered by a blanket of snow. Just indulging in this pure beauty of my favourite season makes me feel at peace, allowing me to transport myself to my own world, my own thoughts, and my own dreams that maybe someday I will go outside.The glimmer of the bright, shimmering light of the moon catches my attention, the reflection of it clouding my eyes with admiration. For some reason I feel an urge to do this everyday, to look up to the moon with hope, hope that everything will be okay, hope that someday I will be able to control these powers and hope that there is somebody like me in this world but I know the last one is absurd but yet I can't help but wish to the moon that my dream of finding a friend in this world, and the possibility of them being like me, will come true.
Getting closer to the window, I feel myself reaching out towards the outside touching the window and dragging it down longingly. I want to try and reach out anticipated to feel the snowflakes on my skin and urging to hear the crunching of snow under my feet. The snowflake and bright light of the moon shimmer in my eyes which cloud with admiration. I want to reach out, I want to feel the snowflakes meeting my skin and the snow under my feet. I want to be able to experience winter outside the captivity of my room, I want to go outside but I know I can't and every time I even think about stepping one foot outside of my room the accident flashes back into my mind, the terror tormenting me. The memory feels fresh in my mind, like I am witnessing it all over again, the hurt that I feel as as the memory is still ever fresh in my mind as I see Anna fall to the ground, struck in the head by my powers. That's why I can't ever leave this room again I'm a danger to her, to everybody. I'm a monster and I can't let something like that happen again. I just can't!
With the memory still fresh in my mind, panic overwhelms me again causing the ledge to freeze over working its way up the window causing me to jump back in fear. Seeing that my powers are once again getting out of control, panic begins to take over a flurry of snow swarming in my room. My hands pull at my hair, panic swarming my brain. I hold my hands by my head, trying to control my fear, pacing back and forth mumbling my mantra.
"Conceal it. Don't feel it." I mutter to myself and slowly the snow begins to disappear into thin air. This mantra is still clear in my mind, my dad having taught it me when my powers began to get stronger, it is the only thing that helps me conceal my powers but remembering this mantra also causes me pain, just thinking about them, my mom and my dad.
My parents...
I sigh at the thought. They haven't visited me in so long they rarely do ever since the incident and I know it is because they are scared that my powers will hurt them as well it is evident in their eyes, there is a glimmer of fear hidden under the surface of them, but they try to hide it in order to spare my feelings.I know they have been particularly cautious ever since the incident with Anna and it just pains me to know even my own parents are scared me which is yet another reason why I am scared to leave this room, I can't face to gaze into their eyes only to see a look of fear in their eyes when they gaze back at me. All I want is just to have someone who doesn't look at me with fear in their eyes, just one friend in this world.
My thoughts are suddenly disrupted as I hear a knock on my door. "Elsa. Please I know you're in there..." A faint voice says, causing my breath to hitch in my voice. It's Anna.
Pain. That's all I ever feel when she is out there wishing I would come out of my room. I want to because I love her so much but I just don't want to hurt her. My parents have told me to stay in my room, to never come out until they feel that it is safe for me to do so, something they will never feel until I manage to finally get my power under control. To me this power is a curse, a curse that had destroyed my life and a curse that had made me a prisoner, captive in my room never being able to leave the safety and solitude of this room. It was what caused me to fear myself, hating the powers that had been bestowed upon me, the powers that had caused me to hurt my own sister, a person that I loved but a person that I could never see again. I am someone that is always succumbed to darkness, to fear and pain because of the curse that I possess and someone that is so scared to leave their room, to actually experience life, out of the fear of hurting somebody else.
Someone that doesn't want to be alive....
But one night everything changed. I dared to leave the safety of my room. I dared to adventure into the outside world and that was the night everything changed because of him. That One Guy That Changed Everything...
YOU ARE READING
That One Guy That Changed Everything(Jelsa)
Romance~Book 1 in the Forbidden Love Series Elsa has always secretly felt lonely and unloved, being locked away from the outside world for most of her life. With Elsa's powers still out of control she is locked in her room, forbidden to come out until she...
