Keep Me Warm [Harry]

Chapter 2

I walked up the isle to my history chair at the back of the bright classroom. Then slouched down huffing and puffing, the past few nights I'd hardly gotten any sleep from trying to perfect this history essay. The teacher, Mr....I don't know, I am so bad with names, was already shadowing over me waiting for me to hand it in. As I got the sheet out of my bag, I realised I'd forgotten to add my name so I quickly signed my name in the top right corner in my green swirly lettering and handed it to his disapproving glare.

Once the bells rang everyone stood up and waited to be dismissed. I staggered for the doors knowing he'd marked them during lesson and I knew I hadn't done very well. My mum hadn't even been home since last week and my Dad, well he didn't help with the sly depression and eating disorder 'jokes' every time we were in the same room. Josh had been okay, but he was ignoring me because Harry was always round and as I had been seen to have a little crush for this handsome friend, they seemed to disappear off into his junk of a room. I didn't have any friends to help with the essay either, Lacey, my only friend since nursery, was always out with boys. It was me, the essay and headaches all week. Headaches normally came after a few days with only an apple.

"Anna...that's what we call you right? Not-"

"Yeah, just Anna" I stopped him before he revealed my birth name to the remaining people in class.

I had never realised how good looking he was until he smiled at me and some dimples appeared. Dimples were my weak spot. The dimples didn't go as he handed me my essay. I scanned through some red ink marks of scripting I couldn't read and then landed my slight on the letter at the bottom.

An A was circled twice.

I don't know what my face was showing but my heart had gained speed in pumping blood around my body. I felt so proud of myself. I looked up slowly, conscious of some tears that were clinging to the lines of my eyes.

"You were the only one in the class to get such a high mark, I am very surprised" he confessed.

"I have to say, I'm-" I took another glance at my paper "I'm surprised too"

He walked back to behind his desk and fiddled with his pen then wrote something on what looked like, the register.

"I've written you down for this top student thing. That essay was really something, you added so much detail and you added your own, very believable theories." He was still smiling and every so often he blinked his brown eyes dramatically, probably to show how shocked he was that he had just written my name on a top student list. "As you see the list is quite long so don't get, urm... your hope up but there is a very big possibility you'll win this award. Keep up the hard work"

"Thank you"

"Don't thank me, I'm just the marker. You created that essay and put together those words. I had to look up a few phrases myself." He stopped looking at me and turned around to rub off the writing on the board.

"I'm home!" I announced walking into my front hall to be greeted with a note perched on the stairs.

There was no answer from my call so I unfolded the note addressed to Josh

Dear Joshua,

I am very sorry I have not been home

-I took a seat on the stairs because I could feel what was coming-

I have been very busy thinking about what I am doing, with everything. I'm at Nancy's, my friend from work.

Please don't feel like you have done anything wrong to make me leave. I wish I'd have said something but I couldn't have seen you react to this so I just ran. Don't tell Anna darling, she doesn't need this stress as well.

I probably won't be home for a while, Dad and I just need a-

I couldn't read anymore. I threw the silly piece of paper and watched it navigate it's self through the air and land so gently onto the wooden flooring. Everything blurred and I hadn't realised how much my knees were shaking, then I broke.

I ran to the kitchen and yanked the fridge door open, then the kitchen unit draws, then rummaged through the baskets of snacks. I fell to the floor with all of the calories I'd collected and spread them out. Packet of crips, by chocolate bars, by sausage rolls, by haribo packets, by caramel bites my shaking rose and fell, my tears stopped and started, the squeals I let out occasionally became more frequent. I was a mess, but I didn't care. Until it was gone, until all the numbers that were peacefully concealed in there packets were turning themselves into fat inside my body. All the breaks had gone, I was shaking and crying and scratching the tiles of the floor in anger at how i let myself get out of control.

And for what? A woman who left me? A Dad who had made her leave and not have the courage to tell me and my brother? A memory of my doctor telling me not to do this again?

I crawled to the bathroom down the hall and lifted my chest over the toilet seat and ducked my head into the bowl. I gripped the sides with my weak fingers and let myself gag until the substances I had just consumed left. My body hadn't had any real food since my mum left, as she was always the one who checked on me, she was the one who always held my hand when trying a triggering food. She was the one who came to my room in the middle of the night just to remind me of how well I was doing. But I was alone now, and she had gone. Left.

I wiped my mouth and stood up to my reflection staring at my stomach. Fat.

I slowly made my way threw the house after binning the food packets. Laid out over my bed and fell asleep.