no one.
yoongi saw no one.
as soon as he opened the door to her room, it was empty. no signs of a girl who's maybe watching some rom-com on her television as she ate fruits. no signs of the girl he cares for.
he scanned the whole room again maybe trying to convince himself that she was there. but no. jiraen didn't magically appear out of no where and and screamed happy late april fools! before laughing.
"yoongi, what are you doing here?" the boy turned his head and saw sinhae.
"where is she?"
"jiraen?"
"who else?" he didn't mean to sound rude, but he was too worried to maybe even care about it.
it was a good thing sinhae didn't mind his attitude, "she's being checked up."
"still?" he raised his eyebrows, "still being checked up?"
"yes, she's still being checked up." she answered and walked to the closet. sinhae then started to put clothes inside her bag, "you should go back now, and maybe sleep."
"what are you doing?"
"packing."
"why?"
"jiraen's being transferred."
"why?" he repeated the question. "and where?"
"upstairs."
"why?" for the third time, yoongi said it again.
"for a better place and more security. there are less people, too."
"she's... what happened to her?" he asked, "i thought she wasn't like me."
"yeah, she isn't." the nurse nodded her head and walked back to the door, which was beside him.
"why is she transferring?"
by now, yoongi already knows what's going to happen. he knows what the answer was going to be. but he didn't want to believe it. or even think about it. yoongi wanted to deny reality.
sinhae was already a few steps outside the room, before she stopped and turned her head little, just enough to look at him. the boy was almost terrified once she opened her mouth and spoke.
"stage threeㅡand a little more to stage four."
ㅡ
once the door opened, yoongi immediately stood up.
"hey," she breathed out, entering the room. "what are you doing here?"
"why?" was the first thing that he said. lately, that word has kept on repeating.
"what do you mean?"
"why didn't you tell me?"
"tell you about what?"
"i'm not stupid, girly." he muttered. "i know what's happening."
she smiled bitterly, "i was scared."
"of what?" his eyebrows furrowed.
"that if i tell you i'm getting worse, you'll stop hanging out with me. you'll stop joining me with my not-so-safe adventures."
"of course! we were out there laughing our asses out, but once you go back here you'll suffer!"
"see!" she exclaimed, "this is what i was scared of, yoongi. this is why i didn't tell you! because you'd do what you're doing right now."
"don't you want to live?"
those few words made her stop and think.
"why are you even considering your answer?" yoongi sounded hurt and hopeless. "why are you having second thoughts? do you want to die? do you want to leave me here alone?"
"no, i..." she sat on her bed, "i don't want to leave you alone. but what if i get better?" jiraen looked at him.
he eyed her with confusion, "what?"
"what if i get better? then i'll go back to being normal. a girl who does anything and everything just to put food on the table. someone who asks her friends for some money because she doesn't have anything for herself. yoongi, i'm sick of that life."
she look dejected and sounded miserable, but still continued. "people don't accept me to work for them because i look like someone who would probably sleep on the streets the next day because of financial problemsㅡbut guess what? i am!"
yoongi wan't speaking, or at least he chose not to as the girl spoke. "what's funny is that those people, who don't accept me at work, are the reason why i look like a hobo living on the streets. that's the normal life for me, and i don't want that normal life."
jiraen laughed bitterly as she looked at him in the eye, a single tear falling down on her cheek.
"and... i want to feel pretty too, yoongi. just for once."
------x
