Sweet Blasphemy (An Andrew Biersack Story) *WATTYS 2014*

Sweet Blasphemy 6

I looked around for Eppi. She sat on the floor in the middle of the apartment playing with Hetty; the doll her grandfather; my dad, had given her on her first birthday. It was a floppy rag doll with red wool threads sewn into its head for hair. It was tied in pigtails with green ribbons. She had a dusty blue pinafore with a pocket on the front and had big black buttons for eyes. Eponine had named her Hetty and she loved her. When I look at Eppi playing with her I can't help but feel the Hetty is the replacement for a father; for Andy.

I jumped as something touched me. I looked down at Ashley holding my hand in his. He was looking up at me but I could see distance in his brown eyes.

"Ash" I shook his hand to wake him up. His eyes lit up as he journeyed back to reality.

"Ashley, you ok?" I put a hand against his cheek. He nodded a slow yes. Liar.

He took my hand away from his face. He swung both of my hands in his. Why was he suddenly so uncomfortable?

I tried again, "Ashley, if something's up-

"No. I'm fine Envy." He smiled but I wasn't convinced. I narrowed my eyes skeptically. "I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday. I shouldn't have forced you..."

He trailed off when he noticed I was quietly laughing. "What/" he questioned.

"Ash Hun, you be sorry for that." I said between giggles. I patted his head and sat beside him at the table. His seemed to have lightened,

"So tell me Ash. How the fuck did you find me?"

It was his turn to laugh now. "I know Andy just as well as you do. He came back with a stupid grin and was irritatingly happy for the rest of the evening so I raided his pants this morning and found this." He waved the scrap receipt in front of me with his little smirk.

"But, why?" I laughed. Why come here?

He suddenly got serious; I hate when he gets serious.

"You think that everything was fine after you left?" rhetorical question; I didn't answer. He continued and his mood deflated. "You just...left Envy; with no explanation. Everyone but Andy was hurt and confused. Okay Andy was more than hurt...he seemed fucking heart broken but that's beside the point. I was devastated Envy. All you said was that you were leaving and you never said where to. I'm your best friend and I didn't even know. I felt like I had lost my best chick friend, my best friend. Things got a bit awkward between the band too; confused and angry me and CC lashed out at Andy; he wouldn't tell us why you left or what happened that night. Jinxx and Jake didn't get too involved but it was obvious they missed you too." Wow, really? CC was angry because I'd left? I'd known him for a year since Sandra left and everything, but I never thought Christian actually like me as a friend. "And don't get me started on Sammi-

"Sammi Doll?!" I shouted with delight. I had missed Sammi so much. "She's still with Jeremy?!"

"Are you fucking kidding?!" Serious Ashley had gone; YAY! "They're bloody engaged! Sam's been dying to tell you; broke her heart not being able to."

"What the fuck, really?!" I was grinning like a mad man; those two are meant to be together. I was waiting so long for him to propose.

Ashley nodded back happily.

I looked over to check on Eppi. She was still playing away in her own world and she was still in her pajamas; obviously.

"Envy, is that the t-shirt Andy gave you?" Ashley squinted at Eppi's 'nightdress'. He raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me.

I looked away from him and fixed my eyes on the wall. "I...emm...A-after I left the tour I refused to wear anything that reminded me of Andy. In-including that shirt." I sounded so innocent. Shit! "But-but I couldn't bring my self to burn like my Dad told me to or to throw it away, so I kept it packed away until I had Eppi and now she refuses to take it off." I looked over at my Butterfly and smiled a little. I loved her so much. "She grew with BVB, you guys are her life. I used to play Mortician's Daughter as she slept and she still makes me sing it to her at bedtime."

Ashley coughed and I turned back to him snapping out of my trance. "So...um...yeah..." I stumbled.

"Yeah..." he sighed but I saw him smile; I swear I saw it. He looked around my tiny excuse for an apartment.

"Envy, how'd you ever end up here?" He asked after sometime.

I shrugged, "I left remember; this is where it led I guess."